Advice please - how to get him to leave?

[Zisforstripyoss]

I have come to the realisation during lock down that DH and I do not make each other happy and we'd be better off apart, better for the children too.

Problem is, if I broach the subject of divorce, he probably won't agree, but it will be hard to get him out of the house. He will just refuse to leave, he will be difficult about what things are "his" etc.

The house will eventually need to be sold, I guess, but how do I get him to take the initial step of moving out? He isn't reasonable.

Thank you.

Sorry you’re in this situation. You’ll need legal advice and to live with him (separated) until the legalities are resolved, including with respect to the house, shared property etc.

You need an occupation order

I've no idea how easy they are to get or anything

I moved out with the 3 children while he was away with work as I couldn't live him any longer. Took what I wanted and got a loan to buy all new furniture and things. The loan will be shared when you split the marital pot so best buying what you like now if you do that! You don't have to live together while you separate.

If you both own the home, he doesn't have to go anywhere. You need to get a solicitor asap.

Why does he need to leave ? If it’s jointly owned he does not have to
And if someone came home and said to you please leave I think you’d probably not be happy

Where are you expecting him to go
?

Withdraw all dw duties. No washing /cooking /meal times together. Has he a dm who would happily take over these duties? That's how I got rid of my exh!!

Take one thing at a time. Start with the discussion where you explain that you want to separate. Let him come to terms with that before you both work out the practicalities.

It will be a financial hit for both of you unless you are well off. If you don’t live in the same home then your current finances will need to stretch funding two homes. Where he lives needs to be his decision. Don’t assume he will move into a bedsit or back home. At least show willing to be the one who leaves when the discussion happens.

But again, the first conversation just needs to be about ending the marriage and doing it in a way that puts the interests of children first and doesn’t descend into pettiness.