Help Starting Divorce Process

[BringBackTeletext]

Situation-

Married ten years
Separated four years - he left and I stayed in house with kids
Three children
Shared ownership home (50% ours)
Ex rents privately with girlfriend
I work part time and receive tax credits

After lots of dragging of heels he has agreed via email that it makes sense for me to stay in our house permanently and buy him out.

I don’t even know where to start. We can do lots of this amicably via email but how do I even go about this process? I’m clueless... how do I reach a ballpark figure of what ‘payoff’ he’d get to transfer the mortgage into my name?

ANY advice would be appreciated

Ages - I’m 36, he’s 37

Incomes including any benefits
I’d guess his income is a max of £24k/pa but it’s not something I can ask. I receive £885 a month wages after tax, £235 a week tax credits, £193 a month child benefit and £44 per month child maintenance (from my husband)

Length of marriage, plus any cohabitation - we bought our house July 2006, married May 2010, he moved out October 2015

Children - ages, genders and arrangements - girl 11, boy 8 and girl 2. All are his and he’s on the birth certificates. He has the older two at weekends but doesn’t have contact with our youngest (his choice) - you’ll realise the youngest was conceived after we separated... these things happen!

Value of former marital home - zoopla estimate is £267k (so our 50% would be £133,500) but I haven’t had a ‘proper’ valuation done

Outstanding mortgage £43k

Size of fmh - four bedrooms

Pensions type and CEV - I’ve worked in education for nearly 20 years and am in the Local Government Pension Scheme. No idea about his pension plans.

Value of other assets in sole or joint names None

Debts/loans in sole or joint names None

Any other factors - he hasn’t contributed to mortgage since he moved out, Ive paid everything from my personal account. Don’t know if this is taken into account. Also I’ve paid to have bathroom refitted, some new carpets, new double glazing... and have receipts for this work. Again would this be reimbursed as such?

Can anyone offer any insight. I think the major thing I need clarification on is how to split the house. I feel I’m entitled to ask for more than 50%, all things considered, but wondered what would be a reasonable split?

If you have 20 years in the local govt pension scheme, I'm afraid that may be worth rather a lot, and hence needs to be taken into account in splitting assets. However, you may prefer to shift across future pension assets more than housing wealth.

I would expect it may have a higher valuation than your housing asset, of about £90k. (£133k-43k), although arguably a lot of that will pre-date the marriage so the need to share is 'arguable'.

If you can negotiate a settlement with the ex, that will be a lot cheaper than a divorce war through solicitors. However, he is adequately housed (by the sounds of it) and you obviously need somewhere for the children, so I would not be in any rush to do anything.

You can start the divorce process online, using 2 years separation, to get the ball rolling.

You could ask him what he expects to get? Could you borrow more to pay him?? (family as well as banks).

I can't offer any real advice, but given that the property is a shared ownership home, you probably need to start by contacting your housing association to find out the process for selling.

A very quick Google tells me that there may well be fees to the HA involved in the sale, and that they may take on the task of selling the property, requiring you to sell to the buyer they choose, or they may allow you to put the house on the open market.

Thanks - we’re not looking to sell the property however as it meets me and kids needs and their dad is happy for us to stay here.

Are your housing association aware that he is no longer living there with you? Shared ownership properties can have some very interesting rules in terms of what you can and can't do. I was in a position where I could just about get a 2 bed without shared owner but really wanted 3 as I have a boy and a girl. The boy was 17 and would turn 18 before it all went through and I was told they wouldn't consider the share application. Net result is they both stay with dad in FMH...

I told the HA when he moved out, when I phoned to change the rent payment to my account. They said that was fine that he was no longer here and I didn’t have to do anything else 🤷🏻‍♀️ haven’t really thought about it since as didn’t appear to be an issue.

Hi Bring Back Teletext

So sorry to hear of your situation. If you haven't already done so, please contact a local solicitor for some legal advice. You can usually get 30-45 minutes free of charge for your first appointment. If you are able to and have the information available, prepare for the appointment by having your financial details available. Don't worry too much if you can't do this or get access to the information. They can put your mind at rest and help you