How does mortgage/house work?

[Redtartanshoes]

Posting on behalf of my sister.

Her and husband have split up, he’s moved out. They have 2 dd’s 12 and 8.

DS works part time, minimum wage as has been bringing children up, her H earns a decent wage.

She’s wanting to stay in the house until girls are grown up, but can’t afford the mortgage, and ob couldn’t get it transferred into her name ( £300k, House worth £450k). She’s hoping that her h will keep on paying the mortgage, in addition to maintenance, and then when youngest is 18 the house can be sold and proceeds split to enable her to buy somewhere else.

Is this realistic? I’ve advised she needs to see a solicitor but currently we are just trying to figure possibilities.

Thanks

No it's not realistic- if he is paying the mortgage how will he afford to live and buy a house of equal size to be able to have the children visit?

Most likely the House will need to be sold and the proceeds split to enable both of them to buy homes

There will be an expectation that she increases her work - her DH isn't legally entitled to pay more than the minimum child maintenance and it's to raise the children not keep the mother too although he may choose to pay more

That’s kinda what I was thinking. He doesn’t seem that bothered about selling the house/disrupting the kids but I couldn’t see how it would work.

Have you any idea what sort of salary her DH is on. ? 'Decent' can mean so many different things.

Are we talking 30-50k , 75k or over £100k. ?

It will give an idea of what is 'reasonable' .. upon which many legal decision is made.

£70-£80 i think.

Apologies yes, decent can be £25k or £250k 😂

It's feasible if her ex agrees to it. If he doesn't want to disrupt the kids, and can afford to pay, then it's possible, it does happen

I'd say unlikely for him to agree to it for such a long time. Maybe they could agree to it for a short period for now, it's not exactly a great time to be selling houses anyway.

My DUncle did exactly that. But it was 20 years ago so he could buy a small flat and the DC slept on the sofa bed, I think. I remember DGP saying he was beggaring himself but that it was the right thing to do.

If he is paying maintenance then he doesn't need to pay the mortgage as well (obvs in both names he wont stop otherwise it will be repossessed).

Mortgage companies will take into account the maintenance money on top of your wages, but this still wouldn't be enough for you sister to take on the mortgage and pay out her stbexh.

It all comes down to how amicable they with are. If her stbexh can afford to keep paying the mortgage and get his own place? She can try and get a court order in place that says she can stay in the house until the youngest child is 18, but it's very messy. Its called a Mesher order.

She can work out through an online calculator what maintenance he should pay x

It's what my husband offered to do. He was a high earner and his ex was a sahm. He was happy for them to stay in the family home until their kids reached 18, paying all the bills himself. She did not want to so they sold and she got all the equity to buy a smaller house one street away with no mortgage. It meant he had no money at all to invest in a property for himself until he met me, and I used the proceeds from the sale of my own house as a deposit on our new home (and his kids moved in with us in the end).
Many men want to do the best for their families even if it means they will lose out.

Thanks all.

They sound amicable. They can come up with a solution they think is fair to give them both a fresh start at same level and provide for the kids.
She would be expected to move to working ft. But has been sahm for a good while. Was she high earning before she stopped - it has an impact. So spousal maintenance might be an option.
It's called a Mesher order when you agree to a %split that comes into force later. They could remortgage to interest only for the next 6 years? But this might benefit the husband more financially. OTOH there's a lot to be said for keeping the kids stability.
A lot of people push to keep the house but do warn her it never really feels like yours. No matter how lovely or spacious. It makes financial sense for me to stay here now but I'd rather be in my own place.
Does he have a pension.
Do they have shares. Investments
80k wage and 150k mortgage is interesting. What does the money go orn???
How much are the cars worth?
What kind of lifestyle does she have now? Eg what kind of holidays are kids used to.
A week camping or pricey overseas trips?
Tell her to download form e and start compiling info.
She can go see a solicitor and be made lots of promises and told to bring the documents for form e or she can start it herself and get her own view of what's fair.
Wikivorce and the Gov website are great helps.

She

He has more earning capacity.

With a 300 k mortgage and a 74k salary it does not sound feasible. If he’s paying that he won’t be able to afford to live elsewhere
She needs to think about selling and working full time
Are there pensions ?

Picak- 300k mortgage I read it as

My dp did this 10 years ago and quite frankly not a good idea. As he could only afford a flat share, the children didn't want to stay over, so affecting their relationship and 10 years later - children all adults, his ex still refusing to sell, ignoring overs of mediation and solicitor letters, unless all wrapped up legally, I would say no way

You are right to advise her to consult a solicitor or two. She could try her local citizens advice first as they can advise about solicitors and law clinics offering a free initial consultation.

She should also read this:
www.advicenow.org.uk/guides/survival-guide-sorting-out-your-finances-when-you-get-divorced

If they can't agree between them, the next step would be family mediation.

Hi OP, yes with that sort of salary it is possible for this type of arrangement if the husband is willing. I would say though that your sister should also do her bit and work full time and contribute something to the costs and he should contribute to the childcare required.
If they can agree without a fight that is best for kids and both their bank balance but if their is any sign of her being taken for a ride then solicitors need to be consulted. (In fact it is always a good idea to run any agreement past them on a one-off basis.
Don't forget pension sharing as well !

If the mortgage is 300k the monthly cost will be around 1500k depending on type and Duration
If he earns 80k he’ll take home about 4000k
It’s not doable for her to stay in the with him paying the mortgage AND child maintenance

He also has to be able to live and pay rent / mortgage plus bills and have a place suitable to have the children

It’s highly unlikely she’ll be awarded this arrangement in my view

Assuming salary of 80k with children staying with him 1-2 nights a a week maintenance would be around 780 per month
He will not be expected to cover the mortgage On that ( if it’s a 300k mortgage)

It's a long time to ask him to stay on the mortgage but he might agree, more likely if she agrees to pay but he is on the mortgage. Where is he planning on living?

We are at the separation stage.
House worth £440000, mortgage is £255000.
We are just doing a remortgage for a longer term, lower interest rate. So I can afford to pay the mortgage (no more than rent would be for a 3 bed) and STBXH is going to rent for 2 years. He will pay maintenance but might also help with essential work to the house and overpaying the mortgage a bit, so in 2 years we can decide. With our wages, I can't afford to take on the mortgage debt as I wouldn't be lent that much but I can afford to pay it..
If I didn't earn well and we could sell now without the chance we'd lose out massively, I think I would. It would be better, but emotionally I think it's best to let the dust settle and for us to have dealt with the break up and making sure there's less disruption for the kids.
My share of the equity would be enough for me to get a 3 bed terrace with a mortgage of around 900 a month, less than rent. Him too.
He's happy to rent for now , as there's no point trying to sell now.
I'm hoping that in 2 years, we can both decide together, to sell and split the equity (by then, hopefully 200k) or see if I can stay here, but I'd have to win the lottery to pay him enough for a deposit for somewhere, he'd need 25k at least.. So I guess possibly they could look at that option?
Thing is he earns loads more, twice what I do, good pension.. So I think we'd be looking at a split of 60/40 or maybe more in my favour if I forego the pension and I've been paying the mortgage for 2 years.
I'll go full time in a year to help things, I'll be OK for money.. But I am also keeping in kind that a smaller place would mean paying the same mortgage, or overpaying, to get me mortgage free by the time the kids leave home and I don't have the maintenance coming in, in 13 years when it would stop entirely I'll be 56 and I'd need to have less of a mortgage to be able to afford to live.. I could downsize I guess but the chances that both my kids will magically leave home by the time they're 18 are slim!
My STBXH is a decent bloke although very hurt and doesn't want to split, so I have to keep in mind it could all change, at the moment he's keen to keep things amicable but I'm not relying on that continuing.