Equitable accounting

[atr79gb]

Does anyone have experience of equitable accounting in relation to mortgage payments?

Since separating 2 years ago, I've payed the mortgage and all bills in full every month as my stbx completely refused to work.

There are several examples of case law where equitable accounting principles have been applied to mortgage payments. What this means in practice is that where one person has continued to pay all household costs, the spouse's unpaid contribution is then deducted from the divorce settlement.

We've been separated for 2 years and I would like to request that my stbx's unpaid contribution is deducted from the divorce settlement. Am I within my rights to request this? The figure is not insignificant (around £20K).

I don't know but thanks for sharing this as it might be really useful for me. I hope you get it sorted as that sounds really unfair.

You can request it. But that’s not your question. He or She has a right to reject it. You want to know if it will be accepted as an argument. In which case context is everything and you haven’t provided it.

Since genders are specified I will not presume. For example, she “refused” may mean she was unable to work due to the need to care for children and was living elsewhere. This is very different to a fit and well adult who decides not to work and to live in the house.

You could easily pay £10-20k arguing the toss about this money in court. Why don’t you speak to a solicitor about the settlement and what you reasonably can expect to get. If this is on offer accept it. Be honest about things because you really don’t want to be paying a solicitor to argue the toss based on self serving information.

@LemonTT thanks for your reply.

In answer to your question, my children are aged 9 and 6. She has been advised by her solicitor that as the children are school age, she would be expected to work but she has ignored the advice she has been given.

I earn £76K a year and work from home. I've suggested a 50/50 custody arrangement but she won't agree to it as she wants to be the main parent.

She wants to stay in the house but wouldn't be able to get the mortgage in her own name as she doesn't want to work. She also does not have enough income to make the monthly payments even if the mortgage was in my name.

So, my question is is this a plausible argument given the fact that she could have worked but has made the decision not to?

I'm still paying for everything (mortgage, all bills etc.) as I was in the marriage even though we have been separated for some time. I've been very flexible with money but this arrangement does not seem fair.

How do you know what advice her solicitor is giving her? Or do you mean your solicitor has told you she should work as she has school aged kids ? Are you going to provide child care before and after school?

@SeasonFinale actually both of those are true.

She told me her solicitor told her she would be expected to work as the children are school age. My solicitor has also told me the same thing.

I have offered to provide childcare before and after school up to 50% of the week.

You need to act on the advice of your solicitor. There are courses of action to deal with this. You could have acted 2 years ago. In the meantime move to interest only payments if the lender allows.

But accept she will get what she needs not what she deserves.

When are you getting this to court ? You know your ex isn’t going to agree to anything so you need to get a final hearing and let the courts decide

What was the share of looking after the children before the split? Did you do 50% then? You have been asked that question before on another thread and didn't answer.

Maybe she is feeling that you only want to do 50% now you have realised it impacts on the money you would have to pay? Maybe she thinks it wouldn't be the best interests of the children for numerous reasons.

What career did she have? What is the realistic prospect of her finding work in normal circumstances and also now that there is lockdown with potentially fewer jobs around after. Has she been a SAHP for the entire time after the children were born? Are you both still living in the home or are you already funding alternative living for yourself. Do you have a new partner?

It is not a cut and dried answer. As you have a solicitor why are you not asking them rather than a forum.

Thanks for all the replies.

In answer to your questions, we're living in the same house. I work from home around half the week from home. This was a deliberate decision to be able to spend more time with the children. I'm lucky enough to have a flexible schedule that enables me to schedule my work day around school runs and childcare etc.

My concern is not so much around childcare. It is more around the fact that I am still paying for everything as I was in the marriage. Whilst I continue to pay for everything, there is no incentive for my stbx to come to any agreement as she knows she'll be worse off once I stop paying for everything.

I'm trying to be as generous and flexible with finances as I can but any future arrangement needs to be financially feasible for both parties.

I'm speaking to a solicitor on Monday but ahead of that just wanted to get some initial thoughts from people that have found themselves in a similar situation.

Before you separated how much of the childcare did you do? Was it 50%? Trying to think what is fair.

My exH presented me with a settlement offer that looked like a hotel bill for what he now thinks I should have paid during our marriage including ' missed' mortgage payments. Are you just looking for her to 'repay' you the money you think you are owed since separation? Or across the whole marriage? Marriage is a partnership and the vows are very clear on the sharing bit. I have sympathy if she is, as you say, yanking the chain at this stage in proceedings but I don't think trying to recoup your losses is possible. My understanding is that settlements are decided on need. Not who put in what. You may have to let it go.

If you are financially entwined and living together it’s going to be difficult to establish you have separated. It doesn’t sound like it.

Why don’t you get a separation agreement that means you pay either CMS or the mortgage. It’s an option will force the issue. Albeit a shitty one but maybe a wake up call to her.

But you really need to put the children’s welfare first. Living together with no plan for a real separation is not good for them. As parents you need to deal with the breakdown of your relationship. That means stopping playing at separation. You are in danger of ending up trying to achieve a lose lose settlement instead of a win win. The former may be impossible to avoid if you are both digging in.

Thanks for all the comments.

I'm going to speak to a solicitor on Monday. My concern is not about money spent during the marriage but money spent since the separation. I've continued to fund my stbx's lifestyle since the separation. At the moment, there is simply no incentive on her part to progress things from this limbo state to finalize the divorce as she knows once this happens, her financial situation will change dramatically.

I'm completely happy to pay for the mortgage and bills etc. However, I don't think it's appropriate that I should be funding her social life and clothes shopping etc.

Can you answer my question please?

@northerngal1982 in answer to your question, I changed my work arrangements prior to our separation to enable me to work from home around half the week so I can spend more time with the children.

So, this isn't a new arrangement. I'm lucky enough to have a flexible work schedule that enables me to fit work in around childcare. This has been the case for quite some time.

My concern is not so much related to the custody, it's more about trying to work out how to split the interim finances.