When you find out the real story

[Simonfromharlow]

So I split up with my ex husband this time last year. I'd suspected an affair but he swore there was no affair. I just assumed he was laying at they did have an affair and were together, I sort of got over it.

Fast forward and I find out for sure he has been In a relationship with the same woman for a significant period of time. He still maintains that they didn't have an affair but I don't believe them.

I'm struggling to process this. I mean really I knew this and they have just given me proof. Why has it hit me so hard and how do I process it. It doesn't help that I'm stuck in doors with too much time to think and can't see my family and friends.

Help!

One word betrayal! I was in the same position, Ive now found out there were others and although I care nothing for him it still hurts because he betrayed my trust. Not only that he betrayed our children. Us humans are complex characters Sending hugs x

So before it was a ssuspician and now you know for sure. I suspect you had that hope that you would be prooven wrong. But it seems like you were right to trust your instincts. So onwards and upwards.

I definitely feel betrayed! Didn't even have the guts to be honest about it.

Also hadn't thought of it in that way, that I hoped I was wrong. I think this has confirmed to me that he was the type of man who could betray me, and I didn't think he was.

I do feel vindicated because I was starting to wonder if I'd just invented the whole thing.

Same shit here although I found out sooner. You feel disappointed because you are an optimist at heart and this just proved you wasted so much time. There’s is nothing you can do about it so all you can do is change how you feel about it. Try to move on xx

I'd appreciate if it had come out after this bloody lockdown. It's all I can think about!!!!

Hope you get some closure eventually.

He is a nasty lying piece of work and that won't change. Now you know for sure.

Yep he's definitely a lying piece of shit!!
I hope she's a gold digger and makes a fool out of him. She's 13 years younger than him. That's the bit that stings

you didnt want to see the bad side, because it was too hard. now it happened, you are shocked and feel betrayed.
once a cheater always a cheater, he will do it again.

I hope he does. She deserves to know what this feels like.

Part of us hopes it wasn’t true until we can no longer deny I think.

I was pretty sure anyway, her getting pregnant confirmed it though he still lied and tried to claim she wasn’t as far along as I thought, then when baby was born it really was confirmed for me as baby was a normal weight and they went home that day, despite him STILL trying to make our baby was prem.

So I was dealing with acknowledging the truth AND Them having his 2nd child together - something I was medically unable to do.

“My” other woman was also much younger and yes it stings.

I'm so sorry you had to go through that graphista. It's a horrible situation. To find out a year down the line had really set me back.

It is so extraordinarily disappointing.

It is! I didn’t want him to be that guy, but he was.

I found out approximately 2.5 years after my ex left that he had multiple affairs, and many of the mums on the playground at school had used him for much more than a boiler service or a plumbing job.
Dirty scuts had passed the time of day with me and newborn DS while my husband was fucking them all.

Funnily enough, when I actually found out and had definitive proof I just laughed.

At this point, I'd already met my now fianceè and had totally moved on.

It hurt, it really did, and suddenly realising that you were the butt of "in jokes" on local spotted pages stung like hell. But I kept my head up high as my conscience was clear - all of the times he had accused me of an affair were completely unfounded, and I could say that with conviction.

My BFF said it was obvious how far I'd moved on and how happy I am with DP now as my reaction was not what she expected. She was dying my hair at the time when all of the evidence came flooding in.

I really did just laugh. Hes still a sad and pathetic specimen now and almost 6 years later, bone of his 3 DCs want to spend time with him because they are sick of his lies.

Let karma work the magic x

Wow that's hard. So glad you have moved on enough to be able to deal with it! I think I would have taken it much better if I wasn't in lockdown and she wasn't the reason he can't see the kids. Yes I'm hoping for a bit of karma soon.