I can't move on...

[lisavicki]

I separated from my husband of 13 years in December 2018. 3 months later he was with someone new and she now lives in the house I shared with my husband and daughter. I haven't met her but they seem happy.

I don't seem to be able to move on. Sometimes I'm ok and getting on with life but it always comes back to bite me. I can't move past the fact that she's now part of the family I used be in. I always asked my ex that if someone new came along I should meet her before my daughter (10) does and definitely be told before and big things happen like her moving in. He promised but then did neither of these things. They just happened and I was told afterwards.

It just makes me feel redundant and without any purpose in life. I just walk through the days in a haze wondering when life will start again.

How on earth did he manage to move on so quickly? How do I move forward.....?

I am sorry you find yourself here. It's a tough place to be in, having been there myself. As for him moving on quickly, it's possible he was with her before you separated. But it is also possible he just was ready to move on. My ex moved on less than a week after we separated. :/

What are you doing to find yourself again and carve a new path? I think this is where your focus needs to be (although it's difficult now in lockdown). By pursuing interests and hobbies, as well as meeting new people, you will start to feel less redundant and feel like you have purpose again. It takes time but if you go a little bit by little bit, you will get there.

I separated physically the same time as you but had mentally done so years earlier. Is it possible this is the case here? I had had to separate my emotions from a situation where I had got to feeling that on going home I was suffering dementia. You will be fine but take it all at your own pace...