My husband has always had a temper and gets angry (with me, family, neighbours anyone really) he cannot control himself. He gets manipulative, he said as I don’t want anal sex he wants to find a girl once a year that will do it with him. I don’t understand his thought process or why he can’t see how unreasonable and controlling he gets.
We are now not talking, which is not helpful during lockdown. He wants to argue about trivial things and gets passive aggressive if you don’t do what he tells you to do.
For example, he told me after he finished on his XBOX he would get some cheese for lunch. I was sitting down after cleaning and he came into the room to tell me that I should not wear my joggers all day and that I should make myself look nice for him. I said I have been cleaning and doing my yoga after lunch so I’m not changing, he got angry and then told me he wouldn’t go to the shop to get lunch now. I then made a bacon sandwich to eat. (This is important).
A few days later, he came into my work room to tell me I had left my cereal bowl in the sink and not to forget that I needed to put it in the dishwasher. I couldn't believe what he had come to tell me whilst I’m trying to work. I said why didn’t you put it in the dishwasher, the sink is right next to it rather than coming upstairs to tell me, in takes a second. He started shouting at me that I should just do it and to stop arguing with him. Only 2 days before, I put his dirty plates in the dishwasher that he left out, without pointing it out as we are supposed to be a team. He huffed and told me we are not talking about things that i have done before but about the fact that I left a bowl in the sink and then he locked himself away in the study.
Later, I told him I’m making lunch do you want some, he grumbled yes. I started cooking bacon for us. He came down and said well actually that’s my bacon you can’t have it as you had a bacon sandwich the other day without me. I was completely gobsmacked. I told him how petty he is and how he sees everything as mine and his were I don’t. He got really angry and grabbed me, I was frightened. He told me that I’m always shouting back at him and that he can’t cope with it and that I make him get like this. I started crying and ran to the phone. He grabbed the phone out of my hand and then locked himself away.
We haven’t spoken in 4 days now. If he leaves things round the house like he did last night, a rotting apple on the window, I’m too scared to even say anything as he will turn it to a massive argument, but he constantly picks on everything little thing about me or puts me down. He doesn’t support me when I need help. I don’t know what to do. Is this what happens in relationships? Sorry this is long winded.