Child contact during this crisis- yikes

[Snoopycomehome]

Situation is abusive exDH, DV, social worker, family courts etc previously involved..
DD (13) has a contact schedule/court order but EXDH lives 200 miles away. DD developed symptoms two weeks ago and EXDH agreed to her staying with me as we had to self isolate (only me and DD in household) DD also told Dad she couldn't go as she does online schooling and he doesn't have stable WIFI (think dongle..)for her to log onto her classes daily. EXDH said in that case stay with Mum till Easter hols then come to me the whole of Easter hols to make up for it. (we'd usually split it 50/50. ) DD is happy as doesn't have to go to Dad's (though wouldn't ever say that to him, as he's intimidating) Easter hols are coming up this Friday though and she doesn't want to go as (aside from it being grim with dad), is worried stricter restrictions will come in that mean she can't get back after 2 weeks. Seems the next two weeks might be the peak. Who knows what the govt will impose. She still has symptoms but it hasn't (knock on wood) developed into anything more than dry cough, occasional headache, feeling tired and unwell and looking flushed but not actually getting a fever. It's been 14 days now so our isolation is supposedly over, but if she's still unwell?? I really don't want her to go. The thought of her stuck at her Dads during this doesn't bare thinking about. He's narcissist etc. Wouldn't think guidelines, laws apply to him, doesn't recognise if someone needed medical attention , etc.
I know the govt say handovers can go ahead but of course the guidance could change at any moment. If he lived locally, it'd be different, but 200 miles...I'm thinking to offer him longer in the summer but say for now the risk of her getting stuck there and not being able to continue her schooling after the 2 weeks means we should put on hold on her going 200 miles to contact with him. Aside from the fact she still has symptoms. Help me word a email to him that has the best chance of DD getting to stay here! ExDH uses contact as a way to further abuse me. Bloody family courts. The school , social workers, DV workers, etc wrote reports to say exDH was abusive and contact wasn't in DD's best interest, but no...here we are

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i'm not sure you have a reason to keep her back. The government has made it clear under 18s moving between co-parents is deemed essential travel. Even in France where their lockdown is much stricter it is still allowed. Your DC does need to have a relationship with her dad, perhaps focus on making sure she calls you regularly etc? Narcissists are most damaging when we don't leave them as the DC think this is normal and they are in the wrong ... your DC knows there is another way and will learn to see her father is responsible for his behaviour not her.

If DD is still displaying symptoms and EXDH lives 170 miles away, I am hoping that's a good reason to not have her go. It'd be stopping at service stations to use bathroom etc on 4 to 5 hour journey. A kid with CV symptoms. Even if it's not CV and just a cold, she's in and out of service stations, risking infection. Ugh.. so stressful

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Have you seen the Judiciary’s guidance about it? I’m a similar situation as ex lives over 100 miles away and have a CAO in place. I don’t have any advice but just wanted to say that you’re not alone in going through this.

Completely reasonable of you. She still has symptoms. You need to read the family court guidance published on about the 25th March.

AND use their wording in an email to him

She still has symptoms, is unwell and has all the school
Work she hasn't been able to do to catch up on. I would include that she doesn't want to go and is frightened about not being able to come home...

Thank you. Ooh yes school work to catch up on, hadn't thought of that. It's true. And all online.
Our 14 period of self isolation ends 5pm tomorrow I've realised, and he wants to collect her 10am. But DD still not well so presumably self isolation should continue. I phoned police for advice or to preempt any situation tomorrow that might occur, but they're too busy and are not answering calls (except 999 of course) so I guess there's no one to come help him enforce the court order hopefully. So worrying. Other countries have resorted to giving just 4 Horus notice fo lockdowns restrictions to stop people driving off to the countryside etc so a real danger she may not get back.

I've read the family court guidance.
Daydreamer what are you doing about contact? Its the distance that bothers me..

Message him to day and simpler state - DD is notably unwell still and will not be able to leave the house for the foreseeable future whilst still displaying classic CV-19 symptoms.

@Snoopycomehome what happened in the end? Hope you got it sorted.
I am in a similar position now. Ex wants to drive 400 miles to collect DD. He generally only sees her in the holidays but as he's missed seeing her at Easter (we were meant to be handing over in Spain but both our holidays were cancelled) he wants to take her back to his for three weeks.
We have no CAO but the family court guidance was extremely reassuring.