Serious allegations and lies on C1a form....

[farfromthemadamcrowd]

Posted in legal with no replies so reposting.

I submitted a C100 and C1a to the court a month ago.
Abusive Ex did not send back his C7 response or respond to the allegations.

He has now submitted an opposing C100 and C1a, in which he has ticked every box- abduction risk/domestic abuse (of every kind) accusing me of drug addiction and multiple affairs, as well as stating that I left him and DS home alone with no food or money for days on end while I went out partying (despite the fact he had a job and vehicle of his own, and I was holding down a full time job and caring for an infant...)

He has made every overblown accusation under the sun, as well as directly contradicting previous emails and texts between us...

The whole situation is bonkers, and he is definitely guilty of perjury/contempt of court.

I need to complete a "response to allegations of harm" form, I'm guessing in detail, and addressing each point?

Neither of us have solicitors, so it's going to be messy, painful and probably very long.

First hearing in a few weeks (was FHDRA, but has changed to directions)....should I be be bringing along all my evidence that shows he is lying?

Definitely you need all the evidence including the original forms but I seriously think you need to at least get advice from a solicitor. Maybe consider contacting the women's centre and see if they can help

I'm also completing a C100 and C1A.

The advice I've been given is that if you're making any allegations, you should back these up with evidence from the relevant authorities. Your case will look much stronger if you have involved police, GP, social services or counsellors etc.

Otherwise, it just becomes one person's word against another's which is very hard to prove to a judge.

If you can prove that he's lying, I think you should start building the evidence if you haven't done so already.

Thank you both, I have already started gathering all the evidence.

Should I be sending copies of all evidence with my response? This being to the other party and to the court...or just take it with me on the day?

I have been trying to contact the women's legal helpline, but can not afford any advice from a solicitor at all, as no legal aid eligibility, and all my minimal savings have been wiped out by multiple mediation sessions, a pointless hour with a solicitor(£190!!) and the court fees.

So my GP have today posted an announcement that they will not be actioning any "non emergency" work- this includes providing copies of medical records...
Hopefully this will be an acceptable reason why I have been unable to provide my proof of not having multiple MH diagnoses.

Just respond by saying you don't agree with what he has written but you are desperate for a divorce.
My ex wrote absolute lies about me to cover up her abuse and her affair but the court and solicitors don't care. You are just wasting you money fighting.
My solicitors exact words were " everyone lies and exaggerates on them forms just except your getting a divorce and smile as your a step further forward to what you want to achieve. No one including your friends and family read them forms. A judge just scans them quickly. That's it.

Sorry maybe I haven't been totally clear.
We are not getting divorced, it's for a child arrangement order, and the allegations are all of the nature that could be harmful to our child if true!

My ex did this. He even applied for an occupation order against me describing made up incidents where I’d been violent, despite him being the abusive one and me the victim. He made malicious reports to social service and other agencies against me and my family. It’s terrifying that they are allowed to do this.

Our proceedings went on for 18 months because of this and it was so so stressful and distressing. My ex tried to use all his false allegations as ‘bargaining’ to silence me. I was repeatedly told by judges that it comes down to one person’s word against the other and reminded over again that fact findings may not end up with the result that you want, HOWEVER, I persisted with fact finding as I believe it would make a huge difference to my children and myself and they needed protection against their father.

Yes several incidents did come down to my word against his, but in cross examination it became blatantly obvious that he was lying. Plus, I went through messages and emails meticulously (which took weeks and was very upsetting) but printed out some that showed he was the abusive one, and some had references back to some of the incidents we were questioned about.

Apparently it is quite common that abusive partners do make counter allegations that are false. Cafcass released a review in 2018 that highlighted this. This is also why the data on male victims of domestic abusers is less accurate, because many male perpetrators do make false counter allegations (I’m not being sexist; this is a real issue). Once you have escaped an abusive relationship, the biggest power they have is silencing you.

I was utterly terrified when i saw the lies my ex had made up and it was just his way of continuing his abuse, to try and distress me and squash me but it did not work.

Yes he lied all the way through the proceedings and all the way through the hearing. The judge was aware of this and even said he was one of the most dishonest people she had ever seen, but in family court they do not get punished for contempt of court or perjury, despite it being acknowledged that they lied under oath. The argument is that it is not in the children’s best interest to have a parent serve jail time, and that’s fair enough.
For me it was enough just to have it acknowledged what I had gone through and get some safeguards in place for the children and myself, and also to order their father to sort himself out!

Stay strong and have faith in the system. I am a firm believer that the truth will always come out on top. You have not lied, your version is the truth and there will therefore be no ‘holes’ in your story!

Xxx