I have my Decree Nisi and I am trying to agree on a financial settlement with ex-H. We live in the same house with our child. He won't move out. This has been going on for some time. He has signed our child up for a private school without my knowledge, renewed a mortgage and faked my signature - god knows if he's done anything else. He doesn't/won't work as he is living off of 'his' money, despite having a professional career which is well paid. I am working full time. I am not entitled to any benefits, mainly because of our joint assets. He stays at home playing house daddy (I never asked for this). Picking her up from school, cooking, taking her around to his mums and her staying over without my permission. Basically I feel that he is being a financial bully and trying to take my child away from me by alienating me. If I put my foot down and say that I am going to have her at such and such a time/day he basically causes an argument in front of her and threatens that he will have her at such and such a time/day even though it has not been agreed. I did put on a google calendar together showing access days etc., but he's never looked at it or acknowledged it's there.
I feel that I need to get out in order to escape from him, but this puts me in a worse financial position, and it will strengthen his position too as he will remain in the house. Also, I am worried about capital gains tax if I move out as effectively as far as I understand I will only have 9 months in which to sell the property before it incurs CGT on my portion of the gain. I understand I have a personal allowance for the tax year, but we have buy-to-lets. In respect of the buy-to-lets I do not have access to any of the bank accounts where the rental money goes into and he manages them himself.
I am just flummoxed. My counsellor has told me that he is cohesively controlling. I just don't know what to do, and I am at breaking point. His mum phoned me whilst I was at work the other day, and accused me of being greedy, and having contributed nothing to the relationship. This was shortly after I found out that he had faked my signature on a mortgage offer. I had to leave work as I was so distressed.
He is from a wealthy family (not that has anything to do with it), and they are money pinching and mean. On advice from my solicitor I have not been "greedy", and am just asking for what is fair, in order for me to able to afford to buy somewhere. His earning capacity is double mine. I have not instructed a solicitor, but have been paying for advice from a solicitor as and when required. I can't afford to instruct a solicitor as I can only see that this will go to court.
I guess I don't know what I am asking. I feel so lost, afraid and confused and don't know what to do. Can anyone offer any advice? Thanks.