Unreasonable behaviour grounds draft

[CQ2020]

Please could any of you advise if you think this will be strong enough to pass a judge? I will be showing my husband it before I submit in the hope he will be on side but if he doesn't agree do you think this list is sufficient and worded well enough to pass anyway?

1. The Respondent is regularly verbally abusive to the Petitioner. Frequently shouting, using aggressive language and manner. He belittles the Petitioner by using phrases such as "it's like dealing with a child" which insinuates she is lesser than him. The most recent instances of this behaviour were on 7th, 15th and 16th February 2020 and 7th March 2020. This leaves the Petitioner feeling upset, belittled and frustrated.

2. On the 17th February, 4th March 2020 the Respondent sent numerous very abusive emails and text messages to the Petitioner.

3. The Respondent is often quick tempered and demonstrated frequent mood swings which has led the Petitioner to feel a continual level of anxiety when in his company.

4. The Respondent frequently accusers the Petitioner of having numerous affairs. The most recent examples of this behaviour occurred on 4th and 7th March 2020. This demonstrates a severe lack of trust and respect in the Petitioner which leaves her feeling on edge, defensive and isolated.

5. The Respondent invades the personal privacy of the Petitioner, in their own home, by searching through her personal possessions. The most recent example of this, to her knowledge in in December 2019. This creates an environment where the Petitioner is left feeling very controlled and as if her actions are monitored and scrutinised.

6. The Petitioner does not feel emotionally supported by the Respondent. She feels he is always quick to judge and only jumps to the most negative conclusion regarding the Petitioner.

7. Both the Respondent and the Petitioner live separate lives in the family home.

8. The Petitioner and the Respondent have not had healthy sex life since [DATE]

9. The Petitioner and the Respondent attended marriage counselling for 10 months which has failed to bring the marriage in to an acceptable state for either party.

The Respondent has behaved in such a way that the Petitioner cannot reasonably be expected to live with the Respondent.

Seems fine to me although a lot of them are the same really, just a different method of delivery.

In reality a judge doesn't care about your reasons for divorce. They don't have to be of any level of seriousness. The fact that you're filing for divorce is serious enough

I had a friend who said his wife used the wrong kind of washing powder and bought a fireplace they didn't like. Still got the divorce.

In reality what you've written seems like a good release for you. But for your grounds you only need probably 3 at the most. Judges prefer shorter papers, they can read them more quickly. Sad but true.

And why show your H? You don't need his approval or acceptance. It sounds like you're just conditioned to need his support or approval , but don't worry, hopefully that will pass with the divorce.

Any concerns that he has to agree or can challenge the divorce are sooo ridiculous I wouldn't even give a second thought. Only about one time in recent history has this ever happened.

You are right I am 100% conditioned to check everything with him as he is so controlling... hence the divorce.
Maybe i'll make it more concise, I agree some are on similar vein.

I think I used

1. Belittles the petitioner by constantly undermining or disagreeing with her even if he has no knowledge or interest in the subject.

1. Takes the petitioners money and gifts of holidays but when inherited x amount refused to share any.

1. Spends an inordinate amount of time engaging with online games rather than with real friends or doing anything in the house.

Felt very satisfying. The feeling you're beholden to him will pass very quickly. Just perhaps double check yourself why you feel you need to do what he says, and you'll start to realise you don't.

So ready to get my freedom back!
Thank you for your help.

Is this any better?

1. The Respondent is regularly verbally abusive to the Petitioner. Use of aggressive language and manner are frequent. He belittles the Petitioner by using phrases such as "it's like dealing with a child" which insinuates she is lesser than him. The most recent instances of this behaviour were on 7th, 15th and 16th February 2020 and 7th March 2020. The verbal abuse has also been demonstrated by text message and email on the 17th February, 4th March 2020. This leaves the Petitioner feeling upset, belittled and frustrated.

2. The Respondent is often quick tempered and demonstrates frequent mood swings which has led the Petitioner to feel a continual level of anxiety when in his company.

3. The Respondent frequently accusers the Petitioner of having numerous affairs. The most recent examples of this behaviour occurred on 4th and 7th March 2020. This demonstrates a severe lack of trust and respect in the Petitioner which leaves her feeling on edge, defensive and isolated.

4. The Petitioner does not feel emotionally supported by the Respondent. She feels he is always quick to judge and only jumps to the most negative conclusion regarding the Petitioner.

5. The Petitioner and the Respondent have not had healthy sex life since [DATE]

The Petitioner and the Respondent attended marriage counselling for 10 months which has failed to bring the marriage in to an acceptable state for either party.

The Respondent has behaved in such a way that the Petitioner cannot reasonably be expected to live with the Respondent.

Still needs to be more concise i think

I'd combine 2 and 4, they're the same really.

Then post it. Do not show him, Do not pass go etc. He will only try to make you feel bad.

I even wrote on the papers to ring my exH for the fee

It was at this point I got a text abusing me in Klingon. Something about, I had no honour. Then I smiled, really smiled because I knew I was finally rid of the massive selfish man child.

agreed re 2&4.
That's so funny "in Klingon" :D

You see, I can look back and see what a gift that was. I mean, who else can say my exH verbally abused me in Klingon. Comedy gold.

Better?

1. The Respondent is regularly verbally abusive to the Petitioner. Use of aggressive language and manner are frequent. He belittles the Petitioner by using phrases such as "it's like dealing with a child" which insinuates she is lesser than him. The most recent instances of this behaviour were on 7th, 15th and 16th February 2020 and 7th March 2020. The verbal abuse has also been demonstrated by text message and email on the 17th February and 4th March 2020. This leaves the Petitioner feeling upset, belittled and frustrated.

2. The Respondent is often quick tempered and demonstrates frequent mood swings. The Petitioner does not feel emotionally supported by the Respondent. She feels he is always quick to judge and only jumps to the most negative conclusion regarding the Petitioner, which has led her to feel anxious when in his company.

3. The Respondent frequently accusers the Petitioner of having numerous affairs. The most recent examples of this behaviour occurred on 4th and 7th March 2020. This demonstrates a severe lack of trust and respect in the Petitioner which leaves her feeling on edge, defensive and isolated.

4. The Petitioner and the Respondent have not had healthy sex life since [DATE]

The Petitioner and the Respondent attended marriage counselling for 10 months which has failed to bring the marriage in to an acceptable state for either party.

The Respondent has behaved in such a way that the Petitioner cannot reasonably be expected to live with the Respondent.

Good! Now get it sent off and have a look at the Freedom Programme to work on your self esteem, so you don't pick another one in the future the only way is up.

Final version is perfect. I used 4 points in mine, basically

• Alcohol addiction and associated behaviour (slurring/staggering around, spending family budget on drink, incapable of sharing the load)
• Refusing to do fair share of household chores despite both parties working full time
• Disengaging from family life by refusing to go on any outings with petitioner and children

Lots of examples of each. No problem getting the divorce, he just died before nisi was pronounced.