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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Divorce/pension advice

16 replies

EC24 · 29/02/2020 16:22

Please advise
I've been married 25 years with 2 boys in their late teens.
My H has a pension he started and finished before we married but has continued to grow over our marriage and is now worth over £100,000 I've been doing some research and it seems I'm not entitled to a penny of it because it was not started during the marriage.
I don't have any pensions because my H always said I didn't need one as he had such a good one.
Now I want a divorce I feel this is unfair .... any suggestions

OP posts:
MNHQ
HebeMumsnet · 01/03/2020 20:27

Just bumping this for you, OP. Hopefully someone who knows more will be along soon.

Original poster
EC24 · 01/03/2020 21:26

Thank you

OP posts:
Scaryprospects · 01/03/2020 22:11

Have you spoke to a solicitor ? Mine seemed to suggest as we have been together for 14 years (married for 4) that he will be entitled to everything over the 14 years

millymollymoomoo · 01/03/2020 22:29

I’m not a lawyer so don’t have the official answer but talking to lawyers about my own divorce have been advised that due to length of marriage (15 years) they everything would be in the pot. Of course that doesn’t automatically mean that you’d get 50% of it but would be brought into the pot for consideration if needed so each party could get a fair share and equal footing

Purplewithred · 01/03/2020 22:32

It should be included I’m pretty sure, given your long marriage and children.

Luzina · 01/03/2020 22:34

www.familylawpartners.co.uk/blog/happens-pension-separate-divorce/

This web page is quite helpful. I think you need to speak to an experienced solicitor- although usually a pre marriage pension wouldn't be part of the divorce, it isn't a given.

ruthieness · 01/03/2020 22:37

There is no reason I can see why your pension provision should not be equalised and also if he is going to be able to work and build up pension in the future but you will not be able to do the same then perhaps you should get more than half! You need proper advice based on your individual circumstances

oldfatandtired1 · 01/03/2020 22:39

After such a long marriage everything goes into the pot to be divvied up. Depends what other assets there are - you might want more equity in the house in return for less pension? If you’d only been married 5 years you probably wouldn’t get any of the pension but that’s not applicable here.

Original poster
EC24 · 01/03/2020 23:09

Thank you so much for everyone's advice.
I feel a lot better

OP posts:
LemonTT · 02/03/2020 10:27

The advice on here is always going to be very broad stroked. After 25 years, everything goes in the pot is common advice and for the most part true.

But there are exceptions. But these aren’t always exceptions so it is never cut and dried. For example. An inheritance kept separate from marital finances can be excluded, if there is sufficient money to meet each other’s needs.

My question here is why is there only one pension from more than 25 years ago worth £100k. If he was making provision During the marriage there must be something else. Good pension planning after 25-30 years is closer to £1m.

If there is a big marital pension in addition to this one, he may well argue to exclude one from before the marriage. If the share of the rest of the pot is sufficient to meet your needs, then that argument may hold.

Original poster
EC24 · 02/03/2020 17:30

Hi Lemon TT
Yes there are three more pensions which he has been contributing to over our marriage which value at £70,000 but this will not be enough for my needs that is why I wanted to know about his pension he started before we met which is valued at around £150,000
Thanks

OP posts:
Ss770640 · 02/03/2020 18:31

With such a long marriage i would imagine some of it would be yours. However because your sons are older, their needs will be less than if they were say 5 years old.

Generally speaking though, only the marital component is split equally.

This is a question for a lawyer. Also depends where you are. Scotland or England. The law varies with England being better to claim

Original poster
EC24 · 02/03/2020 19:59

Thank you

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 02/03/2020 21:16

You also need to ensure your needs are reasonable ..... not saying they’re not but one for your solicitor to advise

Sleepingboy · 02/03/2020 21:36

It's not a large pension. If you've been married so long everything goes into the pot to be split.

MarieG10 · 04/03/2020 22:18

OP. The warning is that you have people giving uniformed opinion such as "I imagine ....". Utter shit basically.

Assets from before marriage can be considered but don't assume they are all yours to be split. It is more,complicated such as children's needs as well as your husbands needs as well.

In the 1990s blokes were being stripped by wives and left destitute (I know it wasn't the popular view)but behind the scenes campaigns such as F4J have changed things and division of assets is far more uncertain so don't assume his pension from before marriage will set you up. It MAY, but equally it very much may not do

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