Asset split advice.

[ednatheevilwitch]

Abusive ex who I am divorcing for adultery. He is in marital home and I am in rented with my 2 children - 16 and 19 - (his step children)
Together for 14 years and married for 11.
When we met I had £100k which I put into our house purchase. I also had an endowment and a few pensions.
Since then I have not added to a pension as I only worked part time as he was a high earner. He has a pension pot of 235k a lot of which was accrued during the marriage. My pension is £90k and mostly accrued before we met.
House is being sold and should realise ca £300k. I am a full time student aged 48 living on universal credit and he earns £6k per month. He is 52.
He also has investments of 40k from during the marriage.
Any idea what kind of split I should get? Spousal maintenance? Clean break? I can not afford food at the moment never mind mediation fees. He meanwhile is holidaying abroad with new girlfriend and taking a payment holiday from the marital home mortgage. Ie just spending £6k per month.

I think this is a very complex one particularly if the money you had was a settlement from previous.
I would hope you should get half of his pension and at least half the value of the house and investments. All depends on what he will expect to do and what you both manage legally.
Spousal maybe but I think that neither child is his may go against that, I don't know.
Good luck

You need to seek professional legal advice.

What’s your plan to return to work and support yourself. I don’t think it fair to claim spousal so you can study although the law may support that for a short term period

Look at what a 50% split would achieve and what your needs are ( your eldest won’t come into this equation for housing) would this be ‘enough’
If not, why and you’ll need to demonstrate why and that you’ve been disadvantaged so need higher split
while your ex earns well his age will also limit his mortgage raising capacity

Have you seen a solicitor?

My plan is to return to work as soon as my course finishes but I will be earning less than 30k. He always earned a lot and didn't want me to work during our marriage. I have spoken to a solicitor but can't afford to get any more advice as I have no money

I'm also assuming they I can trade the pension share for more equity so I have a chance of buying a new place?

You need proper legal advice - some solicitors will take their fee from the divorce settlement if you don’t have money upfront. Whether you get more equity in lieu of less pension is a negotiating point and I doubt he’s going to skimp on legal advice himself. Spousal maintenance isn’t just awarded because one party earns more than the other who has chosen to be a student, it’s supposed to redress the balance because one person has given up their career to support that of the other and raise the couple’s children, and it isn’t clear whether you’ve actually done that considering he children aren’t his.

You absolutely 100% need to see a solicitor

I have spoken to a solicitor on a pay as you go basis so that I can self rep to save money. I sacrificed my career for his partly due to practical agreed reasons and partly because he is abusive/controlling and every time I got a job he didn't like it. For most of the time we were together I did everything for my kids/his kids/him so that literally all he did was go to work. I even sent his mums birthday cards and bought presents for his kids/family. Had his kids on onset days etc. Made sure his dinner and lunches were made and his shirts ready. I can't even recognise myself now. And still he Harasses me.

Have you got evidence of the abuse? Unfortunately unless you have an ongoing record with the police for this it is unlikely to stand up. I changed career to know tow to a man who didn't cope with me being in male dominated career but it counts for nothing now. I earned more than him when we met and about a third when he kicked me out...

I went into a refuge when I left and the police have been involved so there is evidence yes