Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Any experience of divorce arbitration?

6 replies

ThreeRandomWords · 25/02/2020 15:10

Sorry to have started two threads in quick succession. But I have two different questions for anyone who might be able to help.

So, dh and I are going through mediation and I am starting to feel it is a big waste of time and money. Dh is not providing the information or documents requested, so the meetings are taken up with asking where various documents are and him trying to justify why he doesn't need to provide them (bank statements, as an example). Three meetings down the line and I feel we have barely made any progress. Also, I suspect he has not bothered getting any legal advice whatsoever and so keeps talking about what he is going to do, and what he has decided, and what is going to happen even when the mediator tries to explain that "that's not how it works". Last meeting he did make one proposal which so outrageously one-sided that even the mediator struggled to maintain her neutrality and asked in what could only be described as a surprised tone: "and that's what your solicitor suggested, is it?". No reply was forthcoming.
Anyway, starting to wonder about another way of reaching a settlement and came across the idea of arbitration, which I hadn't heard of in a divorce context before. It seems a barrister takes statements, reads through all the documentation and decides the case on the way a judge might do. But supposedly quicker and cheaper.

Wondered if anyone had had any experiences of it? Or indeed any other advice. Sometimes I feel at the end of my tether with it all. Talk about seeing the worst side of someone once you try to divorce them.

OP posts:
Butterfingers64 · 25/02/2020 15:16

I have done it but it will only work if your H co-operates because it is a consensual process and the arbitrator can't make him produce missing papers. TBH I suspect it is a waste of money (and cheaper is a relative concept, it is still a few thousand).

Mediation was a total waste of time.

Better to threaten your H with court and that there will be nothing left if he dicks around.

ThreeRandomWords · 25/02/2020 18:50

Yes, the cooperation bit is the problem. I expected stbxh to fight for every last penny. I didn't expect him to keep stalling on the paperwork so we haven't even got to the point where we can discuss a settlement. I just want it all over, so I can get on with my life and try to make up for some of the wasted time.
Anyone else?

OP posts:
GlassOfProsecco · 25/02/2020 19:02

I had solicitor-led mediation & it was a waste of time & money as my ex just used it to reiterate his position & lies/manipulated after months of stalling.

We're emailing eachother to negotiate as conversations are painful.

StrawberryJam200 · 25/02/2020 19:08

Go straight to court then he can’t arse around (well, only for a very limited time)!

ThreeRandomWords · 27/02/2020 11:21

Thanks. We're doing mediation at the moment, but not really getting anywhere. That's why I wondered about arbitration as an alternative to court, as it'd meant to be quicker and cheaper. But if that relies on dh's cooperation with the process, then maybe it's a non-starter.

OP posts:
StrawberryJam200 · 28/02/2020 20:59

Believe me, it’s a non-starter.....

New posts on this thread. Refresh page