Divorce

[Ozzy223]

Hi I need some advice re divorce, we are an older couple I & my son with special needs moved into my now husbands home two & a half years ago, he is a bully & spiteful, recently started to try & bully me & more so my son, this culminated in him screaming at me my son coming to my defence where husband decides to try & fight my son .... this ended up in a scuffle & husband on the floor. He has now stated he wants a divorce, we also need to get a safe place away from him, am I entitled to money from this property as I don’t currently work & we need to survive, the house is worth quite a bit now.

Sorry I can't give you real advice.
All I can say is that before I decided to divorce stbxh I looked on the resolution law website for nearby solicitors and checked every firm on the list for any who offered a free initial consultation. I made appointments with three of them and that gave me the information I needed to have the confidence to go ahead and finally divorce him. I just wish I had done that years ago.

Hello
Thank you for your reply, I’ve just been on the law society page & emailed a solicitor with some details so fingers crossed I will get a response

Best to speak to a solicitor but based on your post the marriage and relationship were short.

That may mean you are both restored to your ore marriage financial status or that you get a much reduced share of the house.

Hmm that doesn’t sound too good !!

I know you said that you are not working now, but during your marriage were you contributing to the mortgage and maintenance costs of the house?

Yes I’ve had a break of 4 months, prior to that I was working full time, I’ve been paying my way & buying pieces of furniture house renovations etc

Think about the following

Was there ever a discussion about you having a stake in the ownership of the house.
Did moving in worsen your financial situation, cause a sacrifice that needs to be made good.
In terms of renovation, there’s a big difference between painting a room for your son and paying for an extension. Focus on whether you added value
What was the value of the house when you moved in and when you left. Find out if there was a big price rise. Use a number of sources to establish price rises.
You need to describe what you mean by paying your way. By the sounds of it you want to make a claim for some of the equity. Paying your way implies you covered your own living costs. Something that would happen anyway if you were on your own.

Be realistic about this, you could spend a lot to achieve very little.

Thank you LemonTT
That’s very helpful. Yes we had a discussion regarding my name being added to the mortgage to have a stake in the property, my husband wouldn’t do that, his reply was if I die the house is paid off & it would be yours anyway ? I feel very stupid now for not insisting. I have always worked full time & paid for the monthly food shop for four adults that includes a stepchild which I was happy to do, I have paid for structural works to be done to the house as well as decoration of most of the house. I do feel there should be some recompense, as we would technically be homeless if we had to leave. I had to get rid of all of my furniture before we moved in together, again we would have nothing if we left.

As it was a short marriage I don't think you'll have much legal recourse. At best you'd be refunded for what structural work and any value you added to the house. But legal fees could eat that money.

So pretty awful then really. No wonder people stay in abusive marriages if they have nowhere to go.

What were your living arrangements prior to this ?
It’s a short relationship so why should you be able to claim large share ? What were you hoping to get ?
You’ll need to return to work

I should be able to claim ! I’ve put a lot into this house & relationship ....& I took a break from work because I was very ill not through choice. I am now returning back to work. Why should our lives be made difficult because he’s abusive etc.

In the cases of short (under five years) marriages, generally only assets acquired during the course of the marriage are split, if there are no dependent children. Assets owned pre marriage are returned to the original party. If you have contributed significantly to the increased value of the house, you would be entitled to that. Can you quantify how much your contribution has been? That would be a good starting point.

But you should probably only claim what you financially put in

I’m sorry to say that’s whilst you shouldn’t suffer because he is abusive, the law won’t financially penalise him because of this.

The split will factor in a lot of things but in a marriage this short and with no children, the focus will be on assets accrued during the period you live together. But age, earning potential and health will mean something.