STBX buying me out

[CQ2020]

Our marriage of 12 years is over. We have 2 DC's of 10 and 6.
STBX wants to buy me out. I could afford to take it over but would be financially hard for me as I work part time (to fit around childcare) and I think now a fresh start might be better.
He wants to separate, get a financial/separation agreement then divorce 'no blame' in 2 years.. so I am looking into what I want to put forward for this separation agreement.
He wants 50/50 childcare and although this makes me feel physically sick I have no REAL reason to contest.
He wants 50/50 equity split but says i get to claim the benefits for myself.
I am going to have to start all over again in a new house while he gets to sit here with it all easy and no upheaval. The kids will be in their "own home" when with him so i have to try to make a new place as nice and welcoming as I can for them.
What do I need to bare in mind here?

• Splitting household goods
• Extra money for me to replace the things left here
• Can I reasonably ask for a contribution towards my solicitor fee's when buying a new house?
• Can I reasonable ask for a contribution towards my removal fees?

What tips do you have when someone buys you out of the family home?

You’ll likely be awarded more than 50% of equity
What pensions are there as well?
Don’t agree anything until you have legal advice

I did this though not as planned as your situation. I found myself outside the house with a suitcase and being told to phone a friend...
My kids are older. Both teens. Son refused to even visit my new place. Daughter does now but still prefers the familiar.
I hope for your sake that you have better luck. Wherever you go next do think of school catchments and friends locations as that was my daughter's big bug bear.
I was told that solicitors fees ,mare similar for just a transfer and just a purchase. So you may not succeed with donation to that.
Make sure the kids have familiar stuff in both places
If I had the opportunity I would probably push for sale and both buying new because that leaves a more even playing field.

I've just said no to this, as like you am a part-timer & would be left unable to buy in the current area (expensive) & all the implications- having to live in a different town & be unable to be involved in DC's life daily.

I've asked for the house to be sold, fair devision of equity & to buy places near eachother (elsewhere) so we can share the parenting.

I won't accept being forced out of my home & their dad taking over - I've been the primary carer for 12 years
& he's useless (can't get them out to childcare in the morning, no food in the house etc).

I think it would be less damaging for them to move schools & areas than it would be to have their mother live in a different town. That would do untold psychological harm. I want to find a solution which gives us both a role as parents.

You really do need good legal advice.

Take a look at what realistically suitable housing is selling for in the area and get advice on your mortgage capacity. This will give you an idea of how much you’d need for a down payment or if it’s even feasible to buy.

Yup, I am fine in being able to afford a property - not in the same village but 10 minutes away so keeping children in same school would be my plan.
I just wonder is a straight 50/50 equity split a good move or should i rock the boat and ask for a contribution towards my conveyancing fee's, house set up costs oh and he wants the car! Oh and.... the boiler in our house is broken so we wants me to pay half of that!!
50/50 would NEAR enough give me the amount I need...

Pension? Shares? Savings?

@MooseBeTimeForSummer we have agreed to leave pensions. There are no savings or shares

Pensions could be the biggest asset

Mine is worth more than his, they are both small to be fair... mine is a better pension overall so if he is happy to leave them be I will agree to that.

You need to consider potential future earnings. Your earning potential has taken X years hit as you went part time to facilitate him in his career by looking after the DC.

You need more than 50:50 to compensate for that. As he has higher earnings he has the ability to improve pension etc whereas you will be unlikely to make up what you have lost over your career taking a back seat.

55:45 possibly more fair?