Really struggling

[purplepolo]

Me and partner split a week ago and i am hating it, i cant eat im crying all the bloody time i just want this not to hurt anymore. I want to stop crying i bet my toddlers fed up with it, we have a 2 year old and 12 week old.

Hes moved in with the woman opposite me, and every evening i just breakdown. Knowing hes sat all cosy up to here and im here on my own. Ive been self harming, it seems thats the only thing that stops the crying but i can only do that in the evenings when both my girls are asleep. I go through a cycle in the day of begging him to come home that im sorry that i just want him back to being angry and hating him for what hes done,

I just want it to stop hurting, but he doesnt even seem to care he just gets pissed off with me crying. How can i just stop myself caring, i dont want to feel like how i do, ive said to myself i dont even want to be here anymore im so depressed and so lonely. He was my whole world, i have 1 friend but shes loved up with her new boyfriend so she doesnt have much time for me. I just want this to get better

I’m so sorry you are in so much pain. Firstly, you are so much better off without him! The pain you feel now WILL get better as you adjust. It is also hard because you have a 12 week old baby and will have hormones related to childbirth - I have been there and it wasnt until I stopped breastfeeding and my hormones settled that I realised what I’d been through - it was as if a fog lifted.

Your ex sounds like a total selfish douchebag with a complete lack of empathy. He has walked out on you with a 12 week old! AND moved in with the woman opposite you! Jesus! And has the audacity to get pissed off with you crying!!! Because presumably he can not acknowledge that he has hurt you. It seems hard to realise now but he has done you a favour and you have dodged a bullet.

One piece of advice I wish I’d listened to was that the pain you feel now is short term and would be far worse and far more prolonged if you stayed with him. My ex walked out on me and our baby, and I was stupid enough to take him back. I thought we would be different. For about 6 months it was fine, then it got way worse and I was pregnant again and trapped. I regret taking him back so so much but like you I was in a lot of pain and it seemed easier to let him back to stop the hurt. THIS DOES NOT WORK!!

You will be fine, each day you will feel better and stronger. Have you thought about joining a single parents group? Like gingerbread? There may be meet ups in your area. You could make some new friends and meet some mums in a similar position (there will be some out there). Also when you feel up to it, get to some baby groups and I’m sure you will make some new friends. Sending you lots of hugs xxxx

Some great advice from the poster above. I’m afraid I haven’t got much advice other than to say that you won’t always feel this bad... the bad days honestly get less and less and you will realise that you’ve had a lucky escape from the insensitive idiot who is putting you through this. Defo echo the advice of seeking out some local baby groups... it would definitely help you escape the feeling of isolation for a little while. If you feel you can, ask your GP to refer you for some support with the self harming. Take care of yourself and your babies and just go one day at a time.

You're not alone. I'm going through something similar, it's been 4 weeks now and I'm still bloody crying, I thought i would be feeling a bit stronger by now but I constantly feel like I've been physically punched in the stomach. I'm just getting out of bed in the morning and doing what I have to do til I can go to bed again in the evening. I know I will heal, as will you, it just takes time. I hope you have some close friends to talk to. Looks like Miley Cyrus was right 'nothing breaks like a heart' 😉

Sending hugs. This too shall pass xx

Hi guys, thank you so much for your advice i really appreiciate it.

@Sushi123 have you been to your gp? I went on monday and asked to go on anti depressants and i dont know if it was the tablets or just the relief of knowing i have something and i havent cried since, and i feel more incontrol of my emotions x

It didn't even occur to me to go to GP to be honest. Think I'll give it another week or so. Currently staying with my mum which is not ideal as we don't really see eye to eye, but my ds and I are moving to our own place next week...I'm hoping I'll start to feel better then...if I don't then I will see GP. You're doing really well x