I fee like I am losing my mind

[clpsmum]

Stbxh and I have been separated and living apart 27 months. I know in my heart that what he is doing is emotional abuse and gaslighting but keep doubting myself and feeling like I am making it all up. I really do fee like I am a nervous wreck and at the end of my tether. I am walking on eggshells with him all the time and constantly anxious and just can't see any light at the end of the tunnel.

Whatever I say and do he twists it around to me being a horrible person and not caring about anybody but myself. I love my 3DC more than anything in the world but he is actually starting to convince me that I am a terrible mum and just selfish. I really don't think I am and certainly try my hardest not to be but am staying to wonder.

I'm sorry if this posts doesn't make much sense. I'm not even sure what I want anybody to say I guess I just wanted to write it down and get it off my chest! Thank you if you've read this and sorry if you think I'm just moaning!

@clpsmum ok, so I’ve just seen the policeman and he was extremely nice and helpful. He was here for an hour and a half and we went over everything. However, because my ex has not been violent or verbally abusive in his messages there’s nothing they can do other than put it on record under domestic non-crime. He recommended that I block him on my phone and communicate in writing if need be and/or through solicitors. While there’s not much they can do, there is now a record of his communications and the police did take photos of my messages.

Not surprised about the police or the school - my children’s school is a good school in a nice area and they also seem ill-equipped to deal with it.

The police also sympathetic but a bit useless. My ex sent me death threats via text plus loads of abuse for months on end and I was told ‘he’s just being nasty’/‘bad break up’. After a year they said it was controlling and coercive aswell as harassment and they would charge him, then said there wasn’t enough evidence as I didn’t have photographs of any injuries. I think they are still in the mindset of there has to be recent injuries and recent physical violence, which contradicts what the controlling coercive guidelines state. But anyway.

The point is, your ex sounds like he is doing the text book stuff, it is a pattern and it is wrong and it is abusive; like others said, listen to your voice.

Oh and Cafcass get assigned to your case once you go to family courtbover child arrangements if there is a disagreement. It may also have been due to welfare concerns. X