Admitting adultery?

[pollutingchimney]

I had an emotional affair for 5 weeks before leaving my husband. Prior to the affair, I'd told him I wanted us to separate and that I no longer loved him. We were plodding on with neither of us sure what to do next, then my EA became the much needed catalyst.
Once we'd separated I began a relationship with my new partner. My dh wants me to admit adultery as the cause of the breakdown of our marriage. Should I do this? It wasn't the cause, it didn't happen until we'd separated and we're living apart. And what are the implications? I've been asked to sign an admission. Dh is controlling and a bully so while I want the divorce to happen quickly, I need to have my wits about me

You admit it was an emotional affair, an affair is adultery. You left your husband for another person so yes in my opinion your marriage ended due to adultery.

I'm sure most people who have affairs and then leave their partner did not have a happy marriage hence the affair in the first place so many could argue that the reason their marriage ended was some other reason.

I think most solicitors advise unreasonable behaviour as you have to name the other person in adultery and send them the papers. If he wants to be spiteful he can say you are currently in a relationship with somebody else as part of "unreasonable behaviour" and then it keeps it simpler

Your marriage hasn't ended yet, so adultery can certainly be grounds for the divorce even if it wasn't the reason for separating.

The reason for the divorce has no impact on the financial settlement, if that's your concern.

As a previous poster has said, it makes no difference as to the reason for divorce when it comes to financial settlement. However, although you may have been unfaithful in many peoples eyes, you have not committed adultery. Adultery is having sex.

I think your stbxh is just trying to punish you and I, personally, would not agree to it. You could always file for divorce yourself and use unreasonable behaviour.

Technically you have committed adultery as soon as you had sex with on while still married

Doesn’t make a difference to settlement
Either accept that or one of you file on unreasonable behaviour