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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Light at the end of the tunnel

4 replies

BlackTulip71 · 08/02/2020 06:31

I can’t think how many times I’ve posted in various forums saying “he won’t accept its over”, “refusing divorce”, “I’m trapped” etc

Yesterday he exchanged contracts on his new home and completes next week. I cannot believe it. After dragging his feet for over 18 months this has happened since the start of the year.

At times in the last few weeks I’ve had to contain my excitement. And I must admit a few times I’ve pushed too much and caused more arguments. But it’s finally happening.

I should have left him in 2014 when he had an affair but stayed for the sake of the children. In 2017 I discovered lots more unacceptable behaviour with other women. He lies constantly about everything. He’s selfish and does as he pleases. He never does anything or plans anything for the children. Just golfs on any days off and weekends. And is a compulsive shopper and spends way beyond his means.

Despite all of this I do feel some sadness. We’ve been together for over 18 years, married for 16. It’s sad to have come to this.......... but I cannot wait to be free from him.

I will endeavour to continue parenting and being the best mum I can be. I intend on staying in our family home for the foreseeable future. I had no interest in meeting anyone. I just want to be me !

My daughters have both been busy picking out bits for their bedrooms at the new house which is only 20 mins away. And I hope they get to spend quality time with their dad.

And then I need to start our official divorce. Which finally he accepts and is happy to just go along with. We’ve agreed everything between us.

Sorry for long post but needed to share with you all. Hope it gives faith to others feeling trapped and unhappy.

❤️

Light at the end of the tunnel
OP posts:
Scorpioash · 08/02/2020 17:51

Life goes on and indeed it can be better after a divorce. I read the post you attached and I have to tell you not every man behaves in the way they do in the post. I was married 30 years almost and my divorce should be finalised this month. I have managed to buy my wife out so now me and my son live in our family home. Big mortgage but I dont care. My wife turned into the person you described and for me I'm worth more than that so I divorced her. It was very odd in the early days but as time goes on you remember what you used to like to do and gave you pleasure and start doing them again.

Weenurse · 09/02/2020 08:39

Good luck going forward 💐

BlackTulip71 · 09/02/2020 20:48

Thanks @weenurse

Im glad things are working out now for you @Scorpioash

OP posts:
Tiddleypops · 10/02/2020 06:50

Good luck for the future, finally you can move on and start to build yourself a new life without him SmileFlowers

And thank you for sharing, it's given me some hope that I might one day get to the end of this awful limbo stage too 🤞(2 years since I initiated separation. Still in same house. Nearly divorced).

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