My 13 yo DD has decided she no longer wants to have a relationship with her dad. They have had a very difficult relationship for several years. He is an angry, moody and self centred person. He regularly turns up hours late, she says she can’t rely on him and he hangs up on her when she tries to talk to him about it. He calls her names such as ‘fucking wee boot’ when she challenges him.
He has never once been to parents’ night, done homework, taken them to appointments etc. He occasionally drives them to school but has never collected them. It is very much a relationship on his terms and what suits him.
My 10 yo DD says she doesn’t ‘feel safe’ with him. I don’t think she actually means she will come to harm. I think she doesn’t feels she is being looked after properly emotionally. He often has friends round when the kids have been there and they are ignored. I think she feels he is unreliable. He is unpredictable mood wise and she regularly texts me to ask to be collected. She gets very upset when her sister and dad argue.
Now my younger DD doesn’t want to go without her sister - so neither of them are seeing him.
He is furious and threatening court. He says I have to make them go which I refuse to do. He can’t understand this. I have suggested loads of possible ideas over the years - inviting their friends, having one on one time, finding a treat, having a special thing they always do together, the kids spending time with grandparents etc etc. He has never tried any of it.
Please tell me I’m not wrong for refusing to force them.