Advice on splitting house assets

[Littlesteps45]

DP and I are separating. We’re about to put the house up for sale. The 2 DC’s will be living with me. For context, he is controlling, money focused and very capable of being vindictive. At his request I put together a list of splitting all the stuff in the house. He is insisting that presents that we got for the kids (eg x box) aren’t mine by right and if I want them, he is compensated by something else of the same value. He’s also saying the same about their furniture. If I want their matresses or chairs in their bedroom, he needs something of similar value in exchange. He’s trying to take away presents we’ve got for them and their basic stuff. I know it’s his way if controlling me but I’m still appalled that he thinks this is ok.

Am I being unreasonable? Do I just play along with this situation and start splitting the DC’s stuff In this way? Or do I think it’s only money and I can buy stuff in my own house? Anyone else experienced this?

Will he be having the children at his at all?

He’s the stepfather. We haven’t agreed terms but they won’t be staying the night at his and it’s likely to be short visits. Their choice.

They’re assets of the children not the relationship so they are not yours to share.

Tell him him no. Then tell him no again

Definitely a big fat no! The kids will be living with you. They are your children! He is being very controlling and petty!
Be firm!

You need to stand up to him for them. Letting him take their belongings or charge you for them is letting them down. Sorry to be so hard, sometimes life is shit. At least he’ll be out of your lives if he is their step father, not biological.

This is terrible.

Shared items like tvs, DVD players, computers everyone used etc, yes these should taken into consideration to be divided between you.

Their personal belongings, beds, bedding, bedroom furniture, desks. No!

Their gifts definitely not.

Thank you for the advice. He’s away with work for a week. I’ll talk to him again when he gets back.

If he was the biological father he would have a right to take some of the possessions as he would need some for when they stayed with him in the future.

As he isn't the biological father he's just being an arsehole and can safely be told to f right off.

I’ve sent him an email using all of your feedback. I’ll see if he replies......