CMS payments

[MakeMineALargeProsecco]

I'm in the process of separating & trying to work out maintenance.

My DC's dad is a high earner (60K).

I've tried putting details through the CMS website & it looks like he would pay me £306 a month, if we shared 50-50.

Or £525 if he did 1 night during week & EOW.

But I've heard that no maintenance is payable if it's 50-50, so is the CMS calculator wrong?

And what happens if arrangements change? I can see him saying he'll do 50/50, but in reality won't..

My childcare bills will be high, so if he isn't doing 50-50, how often can you change the maintenance if done through CMS?

Any advice appreciated- thanks

Watching with interest , similar situation here op

CMS will give you a figure for 50/50, indeed even if a bit less for the recipient. That just looks at the number of nights where kids stay.

There is zero maintenance if there is equality of day to day care, which doesn't just look at the nights but the overall package of caring responsibilities and time -- such that neither parent could be seen as the one with main care. So, just having kids (say) from 9pm to 7am and doing nothing else could be half the nights, but not count as equally shared care.

Gosh, I'm more confused than ever!

Ex has rarely done any proper parenting eg drop offs/pickups, cooking, dentist etc.

He's now saying he wants to do 50-50, probably as a stick to beat me with, and I don't think it's in the children's best interest.

He's dragging out the process (I told him in October/November that I wanted to separate).

He has mental health issues too.

Just so frustrating. I think he will continue to manipulate, lie & gaslight to get his way.

Poor kids.

Any chance he would go to mediation or couples counselling (can be useful even if you've split)

We're already doing solicitor-led mediation at the cost of £250/hr & went round in circles because he won't compromise on the equity in the house (wants to give me minimal) & won't recognise the concept of economic disadvantage (Scots Law).

He is hiding out in the spare room, refusing to communicate & just delaying as much as possible.

50/50 is, I fear, increasingly a stick to beat people with (and, mostly fathers doing it to mothers). If care is truly equal, not just nights, then in principle no maintenance is payable.

IF you're still in the same house, and you think he cannot do 50/50, then perhaps you could suggest starting those kinds of arrangements now? So that he has to do 50% cooking for the kids, 50% bedtimes, 50% laundry, 50% school takes, etc.?? You could present this as "practice" for the real thing??

CMS maintenance can change as circumstances change, though the earnings figure usually comes from the previous tax year.

Thanks, yes we're unfortunately in the same house & I'm trying to give it a go.

He lost it last week, calling DS "a pain in the area", poor DD was crying & saying she wanted mummy to drop her off - he left house with her in socks (no boots) & no jacket (thin blouse with short sleeves) in temperature just above zero.

They are now doing 11.5 hr days in
Childcare & saying they don't like it as tired. I usually have them in 8-9hrs.

I can't see how it's in their best interests, which is the way it's supposed to be.

Document everything. Get nursery/childcare staff to document any instances of poor care or distress relating to their Dad looking after them. Don't let him compromise what's best for your children.

Thanks, I've been keeping a diary at home.

Just so fed up with this whole situation.

He is controlling me through stonewalling. Making it as difficult as possible.