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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

DP affair- how can I get over this?

14 replies

Sadsammy · 11/01/2020 16:46

My 15 year relationship ended just before Christmas. We had got into a rut years ago but the past few months my DP had become quite nasty and scathing, unsupportive, deliberately socialising without me and being poor at communicating when he went away. In the summer I found he had been messaging another woman. To cut a long story short, I'd looked at his messages on his phone and laptop as he had left that open. His behaviour had become so cold and unloving (classic signs without giving details)I knew something was wrong. Eventually I found enough to quiz him and initially he lied about even communicating this woman. Finally he gave in and admitted to an affair and left. We had led increasingly independent lives and things weren't great but I hadn't wanted to call time but my problem is I can't stop churning the facts and details of his affair, messages and attachment to this woman over and over in my mind. I can't stop remembering the good times and when it went wrong. He has lied, cheated and treated me like a fool. I wake up in the early hours and the recent events are my 1st thought. I keep thinking of what we were still doing as a couple when he had started with the OW and began a dual life. I doubt they will have a relationship and everyone without exception has said I am better off without him so why do I feel so sad? How do I get over this? What tips can anyone offer?

OP posts:
Una2020 · 11/01/2020 19:37

I cant offer any tips but I know how hard it is to deal with finding out about the reason why dh has gone cold on you. You constantly go over in your head the timeline of your relationship. Where you were and what excuses he gave you not to come with you, be it a holiday or a night out. It hurts to find out all the things he said to her and all the effort he put into her where it should have been you. I will never understand how can one treat their partner with such disrespect and knowingly cause such pain and heartache. I dont think the sadness will go any time soon but im hoping to learn to live with it. Be strong and dont text him!!! Reading other peoples stories here helps. You realise youre not alone.

LanternLighter · 11/01/2020 19:47

I’m so sorry you’re going though this OP. I found out about ex cheating a year ago. My life is so much better now, I have a new DP who I love very much but I too can’t get over the affair.
I’ve found recently as I’ve got to the yearly anniversary of a very rough time of his emotional abuse, I’ve felt worse as I keep thinking “this time last year...”
So sorry I don’t have any advice but just to let you know there are others here who will give you support. I don’t think the hurt will ever go away completely but I hope it will shape us into being stronger and better people.

Ss770640 · 11/01/2020 21:15

Takes time. Lots of time. I am 1.5 years in.

Rumination still occurs.

Google the cheaters script. It will give you a laugh at how common behaviour if cheaters are.

Whatever you do, don't let anger and spite ruin you.

Sadsammy · 11/01/2020 23:06

Thanks all. I'm angry one minute and sad the next. I think all who are close to me just think I'm better off without him but even though I know that's true, it's not sinking in. I feel responsible for not acting on the signs of a failing relationship but I know I did discuss us years ago and wasn't met with any enthusiasm or love. I should have left him then. Uno2020 you are right I am tracking our timeline and it's making me crazy. I'm blaming myself for getting fat and being busy but even when slimmer he wasn't that interested in me in recent years. I can't see myself ever trusting anyone again.

OP posts:
Sadsammy · 11/01/2020 23:08

I should add that I'm not in contact with him and don't have any reason to be.

OP posts:
Honeyroar · 11/01/2020 23:10

Of course you feel sad. You’ve been dreadfully let down by someone you loved and trusted. It’s a cliche, but it’s time that heals. I went through it 16 years ago. I seriously never thought I’d trust anyone or love the same again, but I did. (happily married for 12 yes now)

Froglady99 · 11/01/2020 23:17

I have some practical advice to get the image of him and the OW out of your head (on the advice of my counsellor). It worked for me.
Imagine a person really horrible or grotty and picture your ex with them, not the OW. You won't feel the effect straight away but over time you will and it stops feeling like torture. Every time I thought of them together I imagined my ex getting off with a clown ( I hate clowns).
I am so sorry this is happening to you. If you can afford a counsellor it will really help. It gets so much better in time. Looking back, finding out about my ex is literally the best thing that could have happened to me...

Una2020 · 12/01/2020 07:56

Its better to know the truth than live a lie. Yes it hurts but ive heard it sets you free. I'm waiting the freeing part myself. And consider counselling. I am.@Sadsammy I've messaged you privately if thats any help.

user765 · 12/01/2020 12:58

He has done you a favour. I went through a similar thing six years ago and took my ex back. Things were fine for 6 months, then hell. It got worse, he treated me like crap and became abusive. Took a long time for me to be able to leave because he really broke me down. Plus, I tried to do the forgiving thing, and I could and did forgive him.But by taking him back I had shown him that I accepted his awful behaviour and if you value yourself that little to put up with it - what makes you think he will value you if you don’t value yourself? Plus, you will never forget what he has done, reminders will creep in.

I finally left my ex three years ago and he continues to make my life HELL.
BUT every day I am thankful that I am no longer with him and my biggest regret is that I took him back.

Seriously, he has treated you appallingly and you do not deserve that. You need him out of your life. The tears you will cry now will be far less that the years of suffering he may have caused you in the future.

Sadsammy · 12/01/2020 16:00

User765 that sounds awful. Hindsight is of course a wonderful thing so we can both only look forward. Everyone says it's for the best etc and he has been a fool and lost everything for something meaningless (his words)but of course it the betrayal and disrespect hurts as we don't deserve it. I'm glad you got rid of yours. Such arseholes, when they continue to be nasty to you. I wish you well. Ta for your kind words.

OP posts:
Sadsammy · 25/02/2020 14:40

How is everyone on this thread doing now?

OP posts:
2018anewstart · 26/02/2020 03:00

Hi just wanted to say all your emotions are completely normal. The anger and the sadness. However, you will get over this and you will realise what a lucky escape you had. I'm 18 months down the line and am loving life. How I got over it is I remember the good times however I also realise that my xh changed into someone I wouldn't want to be with. He was a pathological liar and an emotional abuser. I imagine those traits were always there but I never saw them as I trusted him. Once I started having my suspicions, which were all true, was when he turned nasty towards me. After 4 years of this I told him to leave best decision ever. I have my life back. You will feel like this too eventually. the fact all your friends say you are better off without him is a sign that it is the right decision.

Sadsammy · 26/02/2020 05:50

Thanks for that. Awake in the early hours again and my first thoughts are always what he's done, how he's changed, how he's lied and what could be different, even though I now realise he checked out years ago and I've been stupidly waiting for the man I once loved to return. It's the loneliness and too much time to go over things that's doing my head in. It's not as bad as the first month in so I guess that's progress however I don't even want to see him as I know it will upset me. He's clearly moved on straight away, all happy. I'm lying here thinking do I want my freedom (however painful) or feeling generally rubbish and unloved? Will I ever meet someone again? Feeling pretty unlovable right now. ☹️

OP posts:
heretochat · 12/03/2020 23:41

Very sadly I'm sure there's lots of us that have had this terrible heartbreak.
I'm a couple of years past. Trying to move on and though I am there's regular reminders and sadness. I'm sorry to say but I think it just takes a lot of time to undo all the good and bad memories and understand where it went wrong and how you process your feelings.

This book helps. I recommend it.
"The breakup bible" my Rachel A Sussman. Bought on amazon

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