My 15 year relationship ended just before Christmas. We had got into a rut years ago but the past few months my DP had become quite nasty and scathing, unsupportive, deliberately socialising without me and being poor at communicating when he went away. In the summer I found he had been messaging another woman. To cut a long story short, I'd looked at his messages on his phone and laptop as he had left that open. His behaviour had become so cold and unloving (classic signs without giving details)I knew something was wrong. Eventually I found enough to quiz him and initially he lied about even communicating this woman. Finally he gave in and admitted to an affair and left. We had led increasingly independent lives and things weren't great but I hadn't wanted to call time but my problem is I can't stop churning the facts and details of his affair, messages and attachment to this woman over and over in my mind. I can't stop remembering the good times and when it went wrong. He has lied, cheated and treated me like a fool. I wake up in the early hours and the recent events are my 1st thought. I keep thinking of what we were still doing as a couple when he had started with the OW and began a dual life. I doubt they will have a relationship and everyone without exception has said I am better off without him so why do I feel so sad? How do I get over this? What tips can anyone offer?