Separation then divorce, or just divorce?

[TaniaFd]

Hi

My H and I have decided we need to end our marriage. We both want to avoid lawyers as far as possible (we’re both adult enough to try and sort this out ourselves) and we both want to try to avoid as much of an upheaval as possible – we both have busy lives.
H's original plan which seems to make sense is that we draw up a separation agreement, he leaves and lives elsewhere (I stay in our home) and then when we’ve told all the relatives and friends, divided out the bank accounts between us and the dust has settled, we go for full-blown divorce (unreasonable behaviour, he’ll ‘volunteer’ to be the guilty party). We use the separation agreement as the basis for the financial order after the nisi.

Does this make sense or am I missing something? Would it be better to go for full blown divorce and if so, would it be a good idea for him to leave now?
For completeness, we have a DD but she will be 18 in a few weeks, so I assume child care won’t feature.

TIAx

I don’t see the need for a separation agreement

Just file for divorce if you both agree

Sort out your finances and file for divorce.

@colafreezepop - OK, we can go for a divorce straightaway but what does 'sort out your finances' mean? I thought that we couldn't formally sell the house or take ownership of property (I'll take ownership of the car for example) until after the nisi - anything before that is just our dream.

We haven't bothered with a separation agreement, not bothering with financial order either, just filing online for £550 after 2 years though I did suggest unreasonable behaviour as I have things I can put on it (even though he left me) he's agreed to financially support the kids through university plus 2 years.

You can divorce straightaway for unreasonable behaviour and you don't have to put anything nasty. Unreasonable is subjective. If you're amicable decide on the 3 reasons (there's 3 boxes starting 'my husband...' finances are sorted at nisi stage

You may not have to wait too long for no fault divorce (see www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-sex/no-fault-divorce-what-why-legal-uk-how-a9275701.html) but as you've discovered it's quickest to do a 'pretend' behaviour case. You can get a lot of the finances sorted out e.g. opening new accounts, changing direct debits right now, then divorce.

If you are linked financially (which you are) you’ll need a consent order to separate your finances. Otherwise you’ll be legally linked (and open to a claim forever). Also I don’t think a judge will grant a decree absolute without one. You will need a solicitor to do this but you can agree all the finances yourself and get someone like the Co-op solicitors to draft it legally at a fairly cheap price.

The correct order is apply for decree nisi - constant order agreed - apply for absolute. This will protect all parties. Don’t sell the house before the consent order

Also please consider pensions in the equity split. These are often the biggest asset over and above house

My ex and I agreed to divorce
We went to the court together and picked up the divorce papers (free)
We completed them together agreed our financial settlement and filed them at the court
No solicitors were involved
Our divorce cost us under £200 each

Forgot to say the court administrator applauded our good sense and confirmed that solicitors are an expensive luxury
P. S. We had no children

A court administrator isn’t one to advise on whether or not a solicitor is needed. If you have no assets then your way is do-able. If there are any shared assets involved you’d be stupid not to seek legal advice.

Makes sense to me. Nice easy job done.

Lawyers love an argument and will cost you a lot.

So long as you agree on financial matters. This would be a straight forward case for divorce

A friend of mine recently consulted a solicitor. She was advised that without a financial consent order (around £700 to be drawn up professionally with parties in agreement, £50 to file at court), even after divorce absolute an ex could potentially try to make a claim against any sums the other party may inherit in the future. So just bear that in mind... I don't know if there is a pro forma to do it yourself if your finances are straight forward but for the sake of £50 I would certainly look into it.