Dd so upset

[Nighowl]

My dd is not coping. The house went on the market today and I think the estate agent coming round and taking photos a few days ago, has made this a reality for her. She’s 8. She doesn’t want to move, doesn’t want to leave the area ( I have no choice I can’t afford to stay here) she’s worried about not being able to see me on the day’s she’s with daddy and vice versa. I’ve just found out DH is already in another relationship I’m majorly struggling with keeping everything together, looking after the kids, looking for a new home, working , running the home and Dh is off on dates most nights. I just don’t know what to say to her to make her feel better - there is nothing is there?! I feel like a rubbish mum as I can’t give her what she wants/ needs..... Any advice? Today she said this is the worst time of her life and can’t imagine anything ever being as bad..... it breaks my heart.

You are not the worst Mother. You are dealing with an awful lot right now. And supporting your daughter. Lots of changes but she just needs you to love her and be consistent.

Lots of reassurance. Get school on board for support and let her know that In time things will quickly settle.

Lots of unknowns for all of you. And it's ok to be upset and nervous. Hope you have support around you.

Just listening to her and acknowledging her worries is a key thing. Yes she will miss you when she's with her dad and she will miss her dad when she's with you, but when that happens, let her know to tell the parent there who will give her a hug and a phone to call the other parent. She will miss the current house too and it will be strange but she will make great new memories at her new homes. Do you know if any of her friends parents have split up? i'll never forget driving along when my 6 year old and her friend discovered they both had a mummy and a daddy house - it was a light bulb moment for her and her friend, lessened the feeling of being different. And at 8 she could ask them how they find it and see that the world does not come crashing down. hang in there - this too will pass and you all will find your new normal.

I’ve already got the school on board. ( Dh went bad about this - said it’s none of there business) there’s a few new her class that have gone though the same thing and I did say to maybe chat to them but they are not close enough friends so she didn’t want to. I’ve tried to reassure her as best I can, saying that’s I’ll make sure she has a phone. So she can text me or Dh. I’ve started showing her the kind of houses I’m looking at to make her feel involved and said once I have found somewhere she will be able to look round before the move... none if it feels enough. She said two other things tonight that broke me ..... the first ‘ I’m only 8 this is all too much for my little head’ the other was ‘ can you not just say sorry to daddy the everything will be ok as when you say sorry it can fix things’ She has been very clingy too and extra loving, writing me notes to say she loves me.... it feels all too much for her to deal with and I feel like I’m handling it all wrong....