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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

What happened to your pets after you split.

17 replies

HesDefinatelyMaybeLeaving · 02/01/2020 21:17

We have a beloved family dog.

According to departing DH, he never liked the dog (despite being the one to say let's get one and he picked it out), it is not his pet, it's my dog and he doesn't want anything to do with it. We don't have pet insurance as we can afford any vet bills right now. On my own I am going to be broke and so need a bit of help with its keep.

What happened to your pets after you split. TBH my DH leaving will be hard enough without having to get rid of the dog too. My DC will be devastated.

OP posts:

daydreambeleiver · 03/01/2020 03:10

We are sharing him now but I have made the decision that the dog will stay with him long term, if not suitable he'll go to my parents

gemh1984 · 03/01/2020 08:07

He kept them all as he stayed in the house and I had to move out, couldn't have them in rented accommodation.

Otter71 · 03/01/2020 10:30

He kept the pets along with the kids and the house. No pets allowed in rented and certainly not fair on anyone when sofa surfing. I now have a place I bought and got pets of my own. He knew how animal mad in particular the younger one is and openly admitted he didn't care where the kids went as long as he kept the pets as he was pretty sure that's where the kids would choose to be... If neither of you can keep yours then talk to wider family or the RSPCA.

madcatladyforever · 03/01/2020 10:35

I kept all of the cats as he decided he couldn't be bothered with them after we split. Lovely attitude to take but then he never was any good at taking responsibility for anything. I was quite shocked though as he always made out that he loved them but then just walked away without a backwards glance. I could never have left them like that. It made me question our entire marriage actually.

madcatladyforever · 03/01/2020 10:38

Otter71 did I read that right. You let him keep the kids even though he wasn't bothered where they went???

mostlydrinkstea · 03/01/2020 17:43

Mine walked out on the cat as well as me. The place he was going has dogs so taking the cat wasn't an option. I now have more cats as I'm free to be the mad cat woman. I got rid of the sky subscription and that pays for the pet insurance. I'd rather have animals than TV.

Otter71 · 03/01/2020 18:24

They are teenagers. They get the choice @madcatladyforever.

I also had no choice when he had changed the locks and left me a suitcase to go and just keep in contact with them by phone.
He was pretty sure that the older one who tag teamed with him to insult me as often as possible wouldn't want to have anything to do with me (still doesn't unless he thinks he can get cash out of me but he is legally an adult so I can't make him do anything) and that the younger one is animal crazy enough that even now I have a home of my own, she describes her 50/50 which she now does as a week with with my pets and a week with his. She openly admits to preferring animals to people. So for her being in rented without pets was a far bigger problem than the split itself. She works part time at a local stables and would happily sleep there instead of either home given the chance. Everyone is different and its rarely as simple as it may seem.

Redredgreen · 04/01/2020 00:45

Had to leave the dogs (family dogs he agreed to get as one of the DD really wanted one) as me and DCs were in emergency accommodation and couldn’t take them. ExH didn’t want them but said he was looking after them. When we got secure housing I took them back. Then went back to our old house to pick up some stuff while he was at work with one of the dogs. She refused to go in, was shaking, whining, pulling away, which she never does. This and other things eg they now both react if you raise an arm (discovered when gesticulating) make me suspect he did not look after them. I’ve heard since there are places that will foster dogs if you are in temporary housing. Wish I’d known at the time. I thought we’d either have to leave them with him or give them up. Really feel bad about the dogs. I should have known. Also feels unfair that he doesn’t pay anything towards looking after them as they were/are for the DC and not something I would have got myself. Lovely though they are.

SparkleUK · 09/01/2020 20:11

The dogs were one of the reasons he left!

He said he wasn't staying in the house with them to look after so chose to leave

Whowaswronghere2 · 09/01/2020 20:18

Bit heartbreaking but I had to leave my old dog for 2 years at the family home as I was renting. The dog was very old, by the time I got my own place and got him back he was very ill and died a week later. So very sad.

Weenurse · 10/01/2020 07:29

Nephew moved across the world and arranged for the cats to come too, when his marriage ended. The cats did not like his ex.

wetotter · 10/01/2020 07:32

What age is DDog?

How much wouid it cost to insure him now (ideally a lifetime policy if still obtainable at his age)?

Could you get him to pay the premium now, and put future premiums into the financial negotiations?

okiedokieme · 13/01/2020 03:42

My ddog came back to me having spent time with ex and is howling for attention currently, sooner I move and ex has him permanently the better

Dazedandconfused10 · 14/01/2020 22:38

I've got them. One is technically his as I bought him as a gift but he wont separate them or disturb them by moving them.

Twobigsapphires · 20/01/2020 12:28

Exh kept our beloved dog. It seemed fair as he was able to dedicate more time as he barely worked and I worked f/t. I missed that dog so much.

Said dog has now passed and Me and now Dh got a much loved dog a few years ago and now exdh will look after him when we go away as he didn’t want to commit to getting another dog himself. So works well lol.

Isitreally77 · 21/01/2020 12:04

I got the cats, he said he would help pay their vets bills and insurance as they were his too and low and behold he hasn't.

Littlesteps45 · 03/02/2020 06:37

In the middle of breaking up. We’ve got 2 cats and he won’t let me keep both, even though the kids love them (the kids will be with me). So it’ll be one cat each. I’m not sure if he wants the cats or us just doing it to hurt me.

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