Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

financial settlement compulsory or not

14 replies

Fallinginlovewdme · 27/12/2019 08:09

Is it possible for H to refuse/delay financial settlement even if it goes to court, just so I lose patience and settle for less? Or does the court make it mandatory to settle? I'm afraid that my My narcissistic H will delay it n pay lawyer or do LIP(to avoid lawyer costs) and prolong the case, rather than paying me a few hundred thousands more. Is it possible? As I'm aware the court can't force someone to pay or settle. Please advise.

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 27/12/2019 08:45

The courts can decide a final settlement
If he doesn’t follow that you have to start enforcement proceedings

Palaver1 · 28/12/2019 21:02

He can draw it out as long as possible

IdiotInDisguise · 28/12/2019 21:10

You need to push for a third hearing ( a Final Hearing) in court. Problem is that once you get there nothing can be negotiated, you are both at the mercy of the judge who will need to decide on whatever little information available on the case (or get thoroughly confused and mess up)

MarieG10 · 29/12/2019 07:52

You must get a financial settlement with a consent order. Withought that you could be tied financially Infinitum. Just look at the case of the owner of Eco energy whose ex wife claimed 20 plus years later despite living with someone in a council house. He couldn't prove he didn't have a consent order. Cost him over £100k to lay her off.

Of course this may work in your favour if you think his earning potential and ability to build assets is good in the future but be aware if you inherit, what is good for the goose is good for the gander. Better having a clean break and agreed by the court

Original poster
Fallinginlovewdme · 29/12/2019 08:51

@IdiotInDisguise so the judge does make an order that the respondent is bound by In the final hearing? As in the FDR, the court only suggests/implies what they deem appropriate n then the parties need to decide... Isnt it? I'm just fearful that H will not negotiate fairly, just to prolong the case n frustrate me.how he would think Is.. That It would be better to spend a few thousand to pay the lawyer than to spend a couple of hundred thousands to pay me. @MarieG10 I'm aware a clean break is important. That's what I'm seeking for.

OP posts:
IdiotInDisguise · 29/12/2019 09:54

Yes, the judge will decide and order actions on the information provided but it is a big gamble when there is missing info and the always present possibility of the judge overlooking something important.

I do not regret spending the money (he would have left us naked on the middle of the road) but I think you need to consider whether what you are likely to get out of it (Minus legal expenses) is worth such battle and expense, both in terms of emotional damage and financial expenses. Perhaps accepting his conditions may turn out to be the better option.

millymollymoomoo · 29/12/2019 10:49

A few hundreds thousands more is a lot

Make sure you have advice on what a fair settlement looks like and also that your solicitor may be overstating and his may be understanding ( eg yours will say you’ll get the house pension spousal etc and his will say he shouldn’t pay anything )
It’s not worth emotional or financial
Cost fighting for small £ but it sounds like much bigger sums here m

Vicky2816 · 29/12/2019 22:20

Hi. I am after advice please. In the divorce agreement my ex H agreed to pay half of the childrens School clothes, clubs etc but for a while now he has been dragging his heels. What can I do to ensure that he pays up as he agreed he would?

IdiotInDisguise · 30/12/2019 00:03

How long ago was that agreement drafted?

Vicky2816 · 30/12/2019 05:32

Divorce went through in November 2017

IdiotInDisguise · 30/12/2019 11:54

Sad thing of these kind of agreement is that after a year, either of you are free to approach the CMS and have it changed to the minimum CMS calculation, so I would say that if what you are expected to get via CMS is less than what you actually do, it would be better to try to negotiate with your ex or leave the things as they are.

Vicky2816 · 30/12/2019 16:21

Its not Child maintenance, he pays that based on the CMS calculator but he agreed to pay for half of clubs, school clothes on top of that. Its all written in the Divorce agreement so I need to know what I can do if he doesn't pay up?

IdiotInDisguise · 30/12/2019 16:29

I would say that he can easily get out of paying those extras or if he does, even having the expense considered as payment in lieu of maintenance.

You can get him back to court, I suppose but that might end up costing you far more than paying for the clubs and clothes yourself.

okiedokieme · 05/01/2020 20:13

I'm not bothering with a consent order as it's amicable (and complicated) but it can be court ordered

New posts on this thread. Refresh page