I'm in the process of leaving my emotionally and sexually abusive marriage. My husband was arrested earlier this month for sexual offences against me and has bail conditions stating that he is not to be in direct contact with me. He is trying to exert any control he can through contact with our children (2 toddlers) and trying to set a precedent for a high level of contact - he wants 4 nights over Christmas, he has the car and is staying 2 hours drive away from where I'll be with his family. He was never this interested with the children during our marriage!
If I'm honest, I'm having huge trouble coping with the demands for contact and his constant suiting himself with his plans. I really need space to cope with everything that has happened, to cope with the retraumatization of having to give a full video statement to the police and to find my feet as a single parent to my boys. This isn't a normal marriage breakdown, so why should he get to treat it as one?