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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Newly separated

2 replies

githie · 15/12/2019 10:01

So here is the background:

13 years together
Married 6
3 month old DS
House in H name

Ups and downs but thought marriage was ok.
So life was fine, we had tried for a baby and it didn’t happen. Unexpectedly fell pregnant and both really happy about it. One month after DS born, H drops a bombshell, he’s unhappy and “loves me but not on love”- wants to separate?

So fast forward to now, went to 2 counselling sessions but H didn’t like what he heard. Basically immature and needed to grow up. Our families are aware that things aren’t going well. H has admitted he feels left out with baby and is basically jealous of him.

In the past he has had msgs, etc with people online and I learned to forgive him for that. He states there is nobody else.

He is so cold, doesn’t really talk and goes hot and cold. Lovely and then nasty.

Agreed to separate in January, so he’s in the house. I’ve contacted a solicitor to begin separation/divorce proceedings as I cannot live like this. He needs to move out, but he’s basically said he wants me but doesn’t?

Am I rushing this solicitor thing? Or am I being stupid?

With having just has the baby I feel very vulnerable and am not sure I trust my decisions at the moment.

OP posts:
HGranger · 16/12/2019 19:52

I'm afraid I'm sort of where you are so can't offer too my advice. However I did t just want to read and not leave a comment. I'm so sorry you are going through this at such difficult time. There are lots of people out there with amazing support and advice.

Fallinginlovewdme · 16/12/2019 21:17

Hi, I'm sorry to hear you are in this state.
I know emotionally its a tough decision, make sure you are taking the right step, by stepping back and analysing the situation. However if u think he has made up his mind,then it's not in your hands to save this marriage. Infact the sooner it gets over, the more advantageous it is for u. As once love is lost, things start getting ugly pretty quick.
Few things I have learnt.

  1. divorce can be expensive, you don't need a solicitor to start proceedings. 2)its easy to fill application online instead
  2. you might consider mediation for financial n child arrangements.
  3. mckenzie friend can help you self represent you as well.
  4. if ur dealing with a narcissist, n he has hidden finances.. You will need a solicitor. 6)also with a baby, staying in the house is ur right. Even if owns the house. Believe in yourself. Be strong. You can do this alone. And you deserve some one who loves you n for that you need to live yourself first. It's not easy but it's not impossible. The mantra I follow is 'This too shall pass'.
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