should I move out of the family home?

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I want to separate. However, I do not know how to proceed. My DH is the main earner. I can not afford this house alone. Secondly, it is unfinished so I do not think we could currently sell it. I also do not want the kids to have to move out of there home. What would happen if I went somewhere else? Is that a stupid thing to do in terms of the children? I feel very stuck. He's relentlessly nasty to me and I am basically exhausted but my earning capacity at the moment is too low to be able to just split and manage financially. I thought I might manage to rent a small flat or something.

It really depends on your financial circumstances and your desire to live separately.

Generally people are advised not to move out of the family home because it will be your biggest shared asset. Having possession of the home provides leverage in negotiations and settlements. Especially as mortgage payments are much lower than rent. The person remaining in the family home will be in the best position to drag things out. The other party will usually be eager to settle things and get their share of the equity out so they can move on. That being said living together during divorce can be awful and put pressure on you to settle as well.

The first step of this journey is that both discuss your future and both of you come to terms with the reality that you are going to split. Then you both have to come to terms with the reality of what that means financially. Expect to be worse off, for no other reason than you have to operate from 2 homes.

At the very least you both need to agree on whether you will spend any more money on the house

Read up on mesher orders and decide if that is something that will work for you. But bear in mind, you will continue to be financially tied and that eventually you will need to find the resources to pay out his share of the equity. That might have consequences for your future security.

Don't move out but try and get legal advice.

If you're able to edit the nastiness to the 'wahwahwah' of the teacher in the snoopy cartoons, it can honestly help.

You're separating. What he says doesn't matter any more. He doesn't have the power to upset you like he did.

Hopefully you can find ways to look after yourself until it's all sorted.

Talk to him. Clearly, he's not happy either if he's relentlessly nasty to you. He might be prepared to put his hand in his pocket to help things along.

Otherwise start squirrelling little bits of money away in preparation for moving out and renting somewhere. I'm presuming the house is owned, rather than rented, so you should be entitled to some money out of the house - either if it's sold, or remortgaged.

Yes it’s owned. We haven’t agreed to split yet but I just can’t cope with his outbursts anymore. I’m constantly on edge. I’ve been waiting until I was a bit more financially sorted. I have a part time temp job just now which might become permanent later next year. I’ve been hanging on until I felt I could manage financially, last night I wasn’t sure I could wait. My dd was crying her heart out because of the way he was speaking to me. I don’t want that for her. It’s calmed down again today.