Will this look bad in court?

[nowisthetimetochange]

EXDH and I have been separated a year. We have three children who he sees roughly every fortnight. He has always earned more than me but has paid less than £800 maintenance in the year.

We have about £20000 cash tied into a property. I depend on the rent to make ends meet. Otherwise he has a large pension. I do not. My solicitor has advised I ask for all the money from the sale of the property (and pension share). He wants a small share of cash when I sell. Will I look dreadful in court if I don’t agree?

His behaviour through the marriage was terrible and he has gambled and given up his career since leaving. £20000 might just be enough for a deposit and stability if I’m lucky. I currently rent.

Are you entitled to any of his pension as you have been the main carer for your children? I’m not sure how that works.

Why only £800 in a year? That doesn’t seem much for three kids. Just thinking about school dinners for a start...

No. He should pay maintenance for the kids and you should get a share of his pension. Detail what the annual expenses are for your children (think of everything) but be realistic.

Sorry, just saw you mentioned pension share - I thought you were entitled to that!

If your solicitor advised you have all the money then go for that. Your husband can ask (as he’s probably been advised to) but I wouldn’t agree! You have three kids to feed and a lower paid job (well until he left his) - take everything you can get, particularly if he’s likely to gamble away what he is given!

I should get a share of his pension. Is it reasonable to ask for all the equity? He was abusive and since leaving quit work and moved to his parents to avoid paying. He has started to pay a little a week. It doesn’t cover anything really. I work 6 days a week and have amazing family and friends (and children). He wants money to live out now (he has borrowed money from his family and friends to holiday this year!!)

He has delayed everything too, over and over again. I am just so frustrated and want to give my children more security.

I don’t know if his past behaviour entitles you to more money or not? It should but unless it’s documented eg domestic violence charges etc can you prove he was (this is with my practical head on, I have no reason to believe you aren’t being truthful!) and does it impact on settlements?

To me it just sounds like you should get as much as possible from his assets now as child maintenance in the future may not be reliable.

He sounds like a complete tool btw. Hopefully someone with more answers and less questions than me might be able to add something to your thread, sorry!

My divorce lawyer says to push ahead for the full amount so I will. He lives on another planet as far as responsibility goes! (He was removed from our home (abroad) so his conduct is on record).

I’m just finding this all so stressful and everything he does seems counterintuitive to being helpful! I just want this to be over!!

You don't state length of marriage and if you worked during it.

Regardless, only the marital component is divided by 2. Not the whole lot. Same applies pension

How much of that £20000 will be eaten by legal fees versus coming to an agreement, especially since you’re not guaranteed to win.

@TalullahDingleberry makes a good point. Something patties can lose sight of.

Is there a reason he needs some cash - deposit for a flat say? Need (for housing) is a factor Court will consider.

He has chosen to give up his career. He has taken a minimum wage job at evenings and weekends. We were married for 11 years.

He agreed to the proposals yesterday.

The law isn't punitive. How he behaved during th marriage is irrelevant. The law doesn't make value judgements and decide to punish people financially for their sins.

If he's agreed that's great,, but the court would decide what's a fair split, and this will be based on nothing more than financials.

If you now out earn him, or it's similar, then it's likely a court would not award you it all, so hopefully he sticks to his word.

Not sure if the law has changed but it used to be that he would have a responsibility to keep a roof over the children’s head. Not sure if this helps.

This is now the only way to do that. I can get a mortgage. He isn’t in a position to get a mortgage as he gambles what little he has. He has taken a low paying job. If he hadn’t given up his career he would out earn me. He has agreed to very slightly over half to him but all pension.

I got all the money from the sale of our house and a pension share.

The reason for this was that it was agreed a 60:40 split in my favour. If I dint have all the equity and pension share he would have left with more than me. The pension was worth more than the equity in our house.

I think your solicitor should point out that he is minimising his income. If he was recently capable of earning £x, and there are no unavoidable factors stopping doing so again, that is what he is capable of earning.

His behaviour and his gambling are irrelevant. But his decision to manipulate his income is.