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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Acceptable Behaviour

2 replies

Quovadis00214 · 18/11/2019 23:13

I’ve been in a relationship for 21 years and married for 12.
We have a beautiful 7 year old daughter.
About 18 months ago, my wife stated that she no longer finds herself attracted to me.
I tried to give her space and eventually in Feb 2019 we agreed I left the home and started to rent in a house share.
During the entire period she’d ask me to stay most nights.
19/10/19 we separated permanently but she didn’t confirm she wanted the relationship to end. The deadline just kept going on just like Brexit.
On that very night she went out secretly to a ball and met a new friend. The next couple of weeks coffee dates finally ending in finding them in bed together on Friday just gone.

She sees nothing wrong in inviting him into our house and our bed we jointly own.

She stated that she lives at the house and sharing the bed with her new interest is fine.

I don’t see it that way and thinks she lacks respect for our time together to move on so quickly and not think inviting him into our bed is a problem. This is a bed that daughter also stays in.

I’m of course devastated and know for one if the roles were reversed it would be a very different story.

Your thoughts?

OP posts:
BillHadersNewWife · 19/11/2019 03:07

It sounds incredibly painful but she does indeed have a right to have a friend to stay.

You jointly own the house but that doesn't mean you get to say who sleeps there now that you have moved out.

I think you need to proceed with selling it so you can buy your own places each.

waterSpider · 19/11/2019 12:04

Sell, or move back in. Or the latter then the former.

Even so, no you cannot determine who stays, absent a demonstrable safety risk to your child.

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