Run out of money for divorce - what now?

[EdithTheCat]

Divorcing my Ex after 5 years of separation. Haven’t lived together for over two years. Filed for divorce last January and I have got nowhere... I’m at my wits end.

Mediation failed after 7 very painful sessions. No agreements were reached. He won’t discuss anything sensibly - just emails and messages about past issues and fails to negotiate. Basically he doesn’t seem to want to actually divorce. I met someone else a year and a half ago and he just hasn’t moved on...

He refuses to do disclosure and Form E - seems to think we can do everything on an informal / voluntary basis and then just continually messages and emails insulting crap going on and on about past issues.

He’s not using a solicitor. Sends mine 9 page emails wasting my money and getting nowhere. I’ve sent him a proposal - the basis of a consent order - and he won’t discuss it. He’s had months to respond to my proposal and hasn’t. Many deadlines have been given by both myself and my solicitor.

I have now run out of money. I had over 10K savings to pay for meditation and solicitor but these funds are now depleted. I can barely afford any ongoing legal advice - let alone court costs.

What do I do now? He simply won’t progress things? How do I get the divorce done with very limited funds. I’m not entitled to any legal aid. Just feel so helpless and stuck.

You’ll have to take him to court.

You might want to repost this in legal. But as you’ve been separated 5 years do you need his consent now? Has he agreed to the divorce in writing?

So to take him to court without a solicitor will cost how much? Any ideas? And take hoe long?

I’m confused as it’s already been started as a 2 year, Nisi already granted and finances not sorted. In fact he made me sign an agreement not to apply for absolute until the finances are sorted.

I have decided not to use a solicitors for finances. Im using it on the child side. £255 to submit an application and he will have no choice but to do a form E. Ex has a solicitor but It got him nowhere at the first hearing. Its actually quite easy to self represent.

Thank you - so if I didn’t involve my solicitor at all from now would £255 be the only cost to progress the divorce?

Can anyone give a brief summary of what is likely to happen with court (over just finances)? Timescale? I want our jointly owned house to be sold so we can split our finances and he’s not willing to do that - another major issue...

It’s possible I could afford to pay my solicitor a bit to help me prepare for court - would that be worth doing?

I'm in a similar position to you. After the application, Form E is the first stage. If you apply on the finances side, he is forced to respond (or have it go through the court without any info from him - bound to be a worse outcome for him in that case).

After that there will be a First Directions Appointment (FDA) - it's a court hearing, but just to set a timetable for the next steps. Usually about 30 mins long. Not that difficult to represent yourself as long as you can keep calm.

Couple of other paperwork stages, maybe valuations, then the next hearing is called the First Directions Review (I think) - FDR. District judge will be quite proactive & often give an "indication" of their view - which helps to focus minds.

If still not settled before, at or just after the FDR, then it goes to a full hearing. Can't tell you much about that cos I'm not there yet. But that might be the point where someone legal to represent you might be worth the money.

Maybe also worth some legal advice just specifically about what range of values/ amounts you might get at a full hearing - so if there are offers from your ex you can weigh them up realistically.

The whole process from application to full hearing is about 6-12 months depending on how many directions/ stages/ valuations etc there are.

Once done, you can get your decree absolute. And move on with your life!

Good luck.

Thank you Better Alone x

Divorce on grounds of 2 year seperation.

It will force the issue to court. He will have to respond to the writ.

Cheaper to do mediation. Give a timeline for mediation then/or issue.

Hi,
This is helpful. I'm in a similar situation too, so needed some advice. I have taken him to court as he has hidden all finances. First hearing is beginning Jan. My solicitor said that it will go to FDR. However it will cost me additional £20k! I have already pumped in 10k. Also I realise solicitor is doing nothing. Form E I had to check everything and prepare everything. She hasn't given any life changing advice as well. Does anyone have any idea if I choose to relieve her post first hearing and go ahead for FDR myself, would that coz any harm in getting my share in finances? Or does it make sense to take a loan n fight this battle. Please help.

Hi,
I'm sorry that you are in this situation. Im in a similar state. You can try and use mckenzie friends for help. They are also allowed to be with u in court. They charge £80-£100per hour. Also you can approach barristers directly and ask them to fight for u in court. Anyways solicitors are not allowed to do that. I have hired solicitor, but they were of no help. Now contemplating to go without them for FDR.
All the best

Self represent, I did it. Keep a level head. The judge will have seen it all before! Ours laid out very clearly what we should each expect, what may happen if we went to final hearing, tried to put us off saying that it would be a waste of everyone's time so really forced ex to get on with it.
We went to second hearing and he still wasn't agreeing to any reasonable consent order so was told by judge to sit in waiting room with me and come to an agreement no matter how long it took!
We got there in the end! At least I didn't waste any more on legal costs whilst he was messing me around

Ive self represented. We have just reached a reasonable agreement before second hearing. I managed it all without spending a penny on solicitors.

Thats brave @awishes and @user1019273703 how long does it take between first hearing and fdr? What kind of paper work are u expected to submit? @awishes were u happy with the settlement? Was it as per what the court ordered? Or was it more as per your ex's plan.

I did all the form E myself. Honestly the amount of guidance online is really helpful and when you first look at the form you think wow ill never do that but you do! I think from my first application to a court date 3 months. Had to pay for an independent house valuation as was main argument. Middle court date was another 4 months but settled just before. It is what I had been asking for al along but they argued house was worth 12k more than it is! Court dates will vary in length as it will depend on how busy the court is, how long they take to process your paperwork and then following hearings depend on your judges diary. I was really worried before I went to court the the first time but in all honestly you find an innner strength. His solicitor thought they would walk all over me but they didnt. Also the judge is very understanding if you self represent so don't be scared.

@Fallinginlovewdme
I wasn't being brave to be honest, all my disposable income and our savings for kids university was being spent on legal fees because ex was being such a bastard!.
I actually got what I thought was realistic and allowed me to buy him out of the home as both kids were doing GCSE and A Levels and I wanted to limit the disruption on them but it wasn't a consideration for him it seemed. Night before we were going back to court he pushed me to give him another £10k which I had to borrow as I didn't have the emotional capacity to go to final hearing.
If I can help at all feel free to ask.

@awishes and @user1019273703 this is so helpful. My solicitor has been delaying unnecessarily. And i realised that every call I make even to check on the delay from her end costs me £25.00! After the first hearing I'm going to say goodbye to her, do u have to produce anything or fill any other forms in FDR? Are there any websites u recommend to follow instructions from? How does the child arrangements work? I'm sure my ex is going to fight for child custody only to keep the house. He is useless in taking care of anyone.. Even himself. Does the court pass an order as well on child arrangements?

I found Wikivorce very helpful

I found wikidivorce helpful. For the first hearing I just jotted things down I want to enforce. When you get the form E back you do a statement of issues and questionnaire again at a deadline before the hearing, not sure if you have done this already? Mine was things like some documentation not included, assets missed off form E etc

No child arrangements are dealt with in separate proceedings but work in 3 stages. I have used a solicitor for those as I find the process a lot more emotive and difficult over children. You are more than welcome to DM me if you want any help :)

Self represent. Remember, the courts look for a fair split of assets, so it is a myth that one side “wins”. The process is straightforward, you just need to be methodical and logical. Meet all deadlines, fill everything out correctly.
My ex drew things out dreadfully, but court eventually saw thru this and forced a final hearing, at which point he offered to settle. If your STBX is non cooperative, the court can find him in contempt which might concentrate his mind.
I used a Makenzie friend. They are not free and they won’t do the paperwork, but it helped me as my ex was playing silly pseudo legal games.
Accept it will take time, acknowledge your strength and power. You will get thru it.