Wanting to split but not yet

[Strawberry72]

Hi,
I am seriously unhappy in my marriage. I’ve posted here before about this but things are becoming tricky for me.
I am married to an older man (57). I’m ten years younger. To say there is nothing between us is an understatement! I have lived in a loveless/sexless marriage for years now. Yes, my doing as I don’t feel attraction towards him but I’ve been stuck here due to having two children (now 15 and 11).
I am the bigger earner. I have climbed the ladder in my profession and paid a bigger chunk for holidays/cars/house etc. He has made little effort to get a better job over the years and this has put a lot of pressure on me (we have no grandparents). We have nothing in common apart from the children.
I have wanted out for quite a while now but felt bad thinking like this. I have told him I’m unhappy but he ignores it.
My plan was to pay the mortgage off by next May and end it! I have been paying £1750 a month. Normal payment is £750 but I’ve been paying an extra £1000 from my money to get thing paid off. He would not be able to afford bills if he was still paying a mortgage so I wanted to make sure we were mortgage free before I did anything.
I’ve, deliberately, taken a promotion down south so I get to stay away 2-3 nights a week. It is making me realise even more I want to end this marriage. I feel bad about it though.
My eldest sits his exams next summer so I’m trying my hardest to put up with things until after then. Both kids are pestering to go to America next summer and the eldest is looking at it as an incentive for his GCSEs. I don’t want to go as a family. We went away last year and this and found it hard. I really don’t want to go to the USA as a family. I’m living a lie. Deeply unhappy.

How do I get out of this?
I’m renting south at the moment and coming home for the rest of the week. I know I’ll have to sort something for after we split (if it happens) but the husband thinks everything is fine!!! I feel very anxious at home now. He isn’t a bad man...I just don’t want to go further with this marriage.

Any ideas on what I can do?

I’m very good looking for my age too! He doesn’t notice!!

What's the relevance of your looks and lack of grandparents?

What do you want to know? In a few months, all being well, the UK may introduce no=fault divorce. But you could separate even without that.

With a long marriage you're probably going to have to roughly split the assets 50/50.

This sounds like my sort of rationale to stay when with hindsight I did the wrong thing. A constant stream of excuses as to why I couldn't leave stretching over 10 years. Eventually he kicked me out.
What benefit is it to overpay the mortgage with your own money when assets will be split when you do based on need? That was one of mine but I would have been better off just getting out sooner and paying down my sole mortgage.
I don't know if the reference togood looks suggests an expectation of finding a younger man now but good luck on that!

@waterSpider With a long marriage you're probably going to have to roughly split the assets 50/50.

Not sure how you work that one out. The OP is the higher earner and will therefore probably have a much better pension. Also depends on who the children live with as sounds like the Op is living away part of the week

This is one where the female partner gets a dose of equality in asset sharing

I can see why she is trying to get to summer next year with the child's exams as virtually no separations are amicable, or remain so.

I'm of the view of upping and leaving and not staying in the same house

If you leave sooner rather than later the children will have time to get used to it before their exams. And you'll have time to give them some stability. I grew up in a home where my parents didn't get on and it was awful. I don't have many happy memories of my childhood from about 11. Even now I wish they'd divorced years sooner than they did