Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

New relationships, when is an appropriate time after a separation

9 replies

Oakleaf40 · 05/11/2019 13:01

I have separated from my husband, its been 10mths since we have separated. His call, it's still very raw for me and we are still living together while we sort things out. I know he wants to start to date. Am I wrong on finding this incredibly difficult to deal with but also so wrong as we are both living together while we sort out our finances . Anyone else gone through this?
Thank you.
.

OP posts:
Sesicilana · 07/11/2019 12:00

I would wait until you live apart! He is selfish!

Oakleaf40 · 07/11/2019 12:47

Thank you. It's what I thought.

OP posts:
Otter71 · 07/11/2019 12:55

I would feel that 10 months is plenty long enough to be thinking of moving on. But yes having somewhere to go seems essential too. Personally I would say this is fine but he needs to move on with divorce plans and find somewhere to live first.

Treezylover · 10/11/2019 21:27

It’s not wrong to find it difficult to deal with, but I think it’s wrong to put that on your ex. However long it takes, it’s going to feel awful when it happens, and some lighthearted dating can bring fun into what can be a very draining, difficult time. I’d really recommend you get a book called ‘the kick-ass single mom’, it’s American so the legal side isn’t applicable if you’re British, but it’s really helpful in guidance on how to deal with this stuff.

MarieG10 · 11/11/2019 09:35

10 months is ok if it feels ok to you but not if you are still living in the same house. Recipe for a war. I would avoid

ExcitedForFuture · 13/11/2019 18:27

ExH and I had to live together after our split. I dated. Not my problem that he completely ignored my telling him just how unhappy I was and conversations where it was clear I wanted to split. If he hadn't ignored it, he had months to sort deposit out before I finally called it a day. As it was he had done nothing so had to save after we split. I wasn't putting my life on hold.

amillionwishes · 15/11/2019 09:02

My stbxh and I split 11 months ago, we still currently live in the same house (have had separate bedrooms since we separated). I started dating after around 6m, him not long after. I'm in a relationship with someone now, he's exclusively dating someone.

It's all dependant on why you split in the first place though I think, ours was a long time coming and neither of us was in love with the other anymore so it wasn't a raw split.

Will you be having your own space any time soon?

Oakleaf40 · 15/11/2019 10:42

Not at the moment, we are stuck financially at the moment. It wasn't my desision to end so it's harder for me after 19 years i still have strong feelings towards him.

OP posts:
amillionwishes · 15/11/2019 11:23

That's really making it hard for you to move on, do you have dc together? I don't think it's selfish of him to want to date if you're stuck in the same house for the foreseeable but at the same time you don't need to know about it if it's upsetting... it's a very difficult situation for you to be in.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread