Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Help with Separation re Pension Splut

23 replies

Mummykins54 · 03/11/2019 22:49

Hi - I am going through a tough time right now. To cut a long story short I am living with an emotional abuser - married for 22 years with two teenagers age 18 and 16.

He has a good pension and I worked part time for years bringing up the family. My question is - is it worthwhile going after half the pension? I know that I am due half the proceeds of the house.

I would like to walk away with a good lump sum.

Thanks

OP posts:
NigellaAwesome · 03/11/2019 23:01

Simply, yes.

You may need to get an actuarial valuation, which can cost about £1200 - £1500, perhaps less if it is straightforward.

Your solicitor should be able to instruct an actuary to prepare a report.

NigellaAwesome · 03/11/2019 23:02

And sorry to hear what you are going through. Xx

OhamIreally · 04/11/2019 08:59

Absolutely it is. The pension has been created from joint funds and is a marital asset. You can either have part of it set aside to create your own pension or you can negotiate to offset his share of the property against the value.
Generally speaking you will get more value out of pension sharing than by offsetting but it depends what your priorities are.

Dissimilitude · 04/11/2019 13:17

You absolutely need to factor in the pension. You don't necessarily have to take half of it, but it needs to be included in the asset calculations (it can often be the largest asset).

Once the size of the pot is known (including all major assets and liabilities), you can work out how best to split it. Maybe he relinquishes some or all of his share of the house in return for keeping his pension etc.

Ss770640 · 07/11/2019 19:09

Only the marital part of pension is claimable. The part earned during marriage. Same for other assets.

You need the cash equivalent transfer value (CETV).

The marital part is CETV x (length of pension / length of marriage).

Pensions are truly a grey area and still subject to legal clarity. The reason being any interest accumulated during marriage is a function in part due to non marital earnings.

Easiest way is calculated as above.

Ss770640 · 07/11/2019 19:10

And you also need to do the same for your pension

Original poster
Mummykins54 · 09/11/2019 19:54

Ss - we have been married 22 years - he will have a really good pension - I have a very small pension when I worked full time.

He thinks he can split everything 50/50 but I know that this is not necessarily the case as I was a full time mum and then worked part time for the most of our marriage. Ultimately I want to walk away with a good cash lump sum to build my future happiness and my kids.

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 10/11/2019 11:39

Yes the pension needs to be included as part of the assets.

He doesn't get to accrue a big fat pension whilst you do all the unpaid work at home - it doesn't work like that.

Original poster
Mummykins54 · 10/11/2019 12:59

Thats NotSuch - he said he wanted to sit down and split the assets 5/50 - I said I would need to get that checked out with a lawyer. Interesting to see if he mentions his pension. He later said words to the effect that he didn't think I would play fair!!

Yes because I will get what I am entitled to - MEN!!!!

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 10/11/2019 14:15

I know right!

Don't be browbeaten into a deal you're not happy with. Either you agree between you, or the judge decides. And the judge will be fair.

And don't let him fob you off with "money in a pension is worth less than money right now". It isn't. £100k in a pension is worth £100k, so don't settle for less if that makes sense.

I wouldn't be surprised if the pension is more than the house.

millymollymoomoo · 10/11/2019 14:38

Well money in a pension isn’t worth the same as money now - which is what a cetv is done for

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 10/11/2019 14:41

millymollymoomoo - you may have accepted less money from a pension fund but my stance was that my ex had £200k in a pension and I was having half of it. If you were happy to settle for less than half then that's up to you.

millymollymoomoo · 10/11/2019 15:10

I’m just pointing out the mathematical facts

Op needs to get cetv and understand what type of pension and values are. She, along with solicitor, can go from there in reaching a fair split

Original poster
Mummykins54 · 10/11/2019 16:02

Hi ladies - I want the most amount of cash in a lump sum to allow me to move forward - whether than turns out to be talking half his pension and half of the house equity or a larger share of the equity in the house and leaving his pension I will take whichever is the highest figure.

Our house will be worth around 140k with 15k mortgage outstanding but his pension will also be worth a lot too.

OP posts:
Brakebackcyclebot · 10/11/2019 16:05

Have you got legal advice? If not, get some, especially if he is emotionally abusive and likely to try to bamboozle you.

It's really important you get clarity on a) what assets you have, including pensions, and b) what you want to achieve.

Original poster
Mummykins54 · 10/11/2019 16:15

Hi Brake - what I want to achieve is to get the best deal money wise - I dont want to keep the house - its not a home and I want to start afresh so I would not accept the house and relinquish his pension. Depending on what I walk away with I hope to be able to buy perhaps an ex council property with a very small mortgage and a good deposit - that is my plan going forward but I don't think that he will play fair. We talked about splitting before, he consulted a lawyer and then we decided to try counselling. I then discovered that he was retaining the lawyer during the duration of our counselling! When I confronted him he came up with some story about forgetting to cancel the direct debit.

Currently he is giving me the silent treatment despite the fact that eldest son is going into rehab on Wed to recover from cocaine addiction. He is acting like a child but it thats what he wants he can get on with it. I normally try to talk to him but I seriously cannot be bothered anymore.

OP posts:
cocomelon23 · 10/11/2019 18:44

The money you get from his pension won't be accessible to you until you're 55 so won't help you in the immediate future.

Hollachica · 10/11/2019 18:47

A friend of mine achieved 70% of the house equity by leaving the pension alone.
Go for it.

Original poster
Mummykins54 · 10/11/2019 19:24

Coco I am 55 next October - however I think I won't be able to access it until he retires and starts drawing from it or maybe this is not correct?

Hollachica I take it that was the best settlement for her - our house is worth £140k with £15 remaining on the mortgage. I think his pension would be around £200k as he has a great job.

OP posts:
HugoSpritz · 10/11/2019 19:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Brakebackcyclebot · 10/11/2019 19:56

Get legal and financial advice OP. This is too important to be unclear on. Esp as your H already shows signs of being difficult.

cocomelon23 · 10/11/2019 20:14

You would transfer your share of his pension into your own policy so you could take it when convenient for you.

Ss770640 · 19/01/2020 19:30

See my previous post.

You do not get 50% of everything.

Only what was earned during marriage.

50/50 is a starting point only.

So many people here seem to think "go get it, claim it all etc".

The simple fact is, unless you stayed at home for 10+ years, only a small portion of it is marital.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread