Lack of sleep. Worrying over our future.

[AngryAF1]

Long story short, My husband and I seperated 4 months ago. I was being very heavily controlled which he denies and says is all in my head and he also raped and sexual abused me on many occasions. I managed to escape the relationship thanks to finally speaking out about what he did to me. I have 2 daughters with him one in school the other just started nursery 2 mornings a week. The only reason I am not pressing charges is because doing so will probably result in him losing his job and me losing the roof over our head. Since we split he has agreed to cover the house costs until I can get back on my feet. He has prevented me from working for nearly 2 years and I gave up my opportunity for a career when having our children. I do appreciate he is paying for the house and know it won't go on forever!! But he has completely destroyed me as a person and I am struggling to find work to fit around my childcare. I have found out that he has been seeing someone new, 12 years his junior. An he tonight told me he wants the house put on the market so I need to move out. The mortgage is in both our names, there is naff all equity in it thanks to the debts he racked up and we put on the mortgage but I know on his wages he will qualify for a mortgage alone. What happens to me?? Our children?? Am I allowed to stand my ground and not move?? I cant afford the mortgage on my own. I cant afford to buy him out. I have no savings, no job, nothing. I'm scared for our future. Anyone else been in the same situation? Thanks

Sorry you are suffering in this way OP.
Unfortunately this is why you must always report abuse to the police because men like this don't keep their promissions and can't be trusted.
I didn't either and my son and I ended up homeless.
Certainly it was much harder for me to prove the abuse afterwards in court. Depends what judge you get.
Now you need to go and find a legal aid solicitor and commence divorce proceedings. Don't move out and get an injunction on him. Let the courts decide what you are getting not your husband. Your husband doesn't get to decide anything any more and only talks to you through your solicitor.

Although you are dealing with a lot right now I would let the house go. I know you are fighting for stability but a move now will see you and the children in a more sustainable situation that your ex can't control. Don't fight him on this. And get truly free from him.

Have you put in a claim for benefits. Also look at what child support he will need to pay moving forward (go through cms. Don't give him power over this). Go to the council and talk to the housing people. Dust off your cv. And look at ways of updating it. Volunteering or college courses.

This is an amazing opportunity to start again and have no ties to him. Imagine him not having keys to your home or withholding money hanging over your head. I know it is frightening. But grab this with both hands your children are young enough to be adaptable and handle any move you need to make right now.

I disagree with the pp. Don't let the house go. It's your security. Talk to the police, have you any evidence, doctors reports, texts etc?
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Do you have any real life support?
Often in these cases the courts make the parent in paid work support the parent who is doing the bulk of childcare and they get to stay in family home till youngest is 18.
Some solicitors provide a free half hour. You can also try womens Aid and the Cab.
Good luck.