Hi all,
I'm after a bit of advice.
My wife and I are currently going through a separation and divorce whilst living in the house together. It's pretty hellish. She's very narcissistic and is burying her head in the sand about the whole divorce.
If I try and discuss anything related to the divorce, she completely refuses to discuss anything and she asks me to leave the house. She has very unrealistic expectations of future arrangements for custody of the children and finances and is only willing to discuss things if she is able to maintain the lifestyle she has now. The difficulty is that I provide for her financially and she is refusing to work.
On Thursday, I was working from home and after I had done both school runs, she told me she was going out to the pub so I was left juggling work and looking after 2 children without warning. I had a conference call later that day - she arrived in the middle of the conference call and was drunk and abusive to me so I couldn't really concentrate on the call. I'm worried that the current situation could boil over and I could end up losing my job if this type of thing happens again. I'm doing the school runs most days and working full time - often into the evenings to allow me to work around the school runs. That's all fine but she is not working during this time and making no effort to look for work. She is often sleeping during the day, playing computer games and then socialising with friends.
I've been advised by my solicitor not to leave the house during the divorce proceedings. I also understand the only real exception to this advice is if there is physical abuse. However, what's the advice if there is emotional abuse? She has grabbed me by the throat on one occasion but most of the abuse since then has been verbal. For example, she has told me that even if I find someone new, I will always be under her control. She has consistently told me she is not willing to discuss the divorce even though we've been separated for well over a year.
I understand leaving the house during divorce proceedings can harm my negotiating position. However, would it be possible to document the current situation to mitigate against this?
I feel the current situation is unmaintainable but I certainly don't want to jeopardize my position by moving out. However, I do feel I could progress the divorce more easily whilst not living under the same roof.
Has anyone found themselves in a similar situation? I'm going to speak to my solicitor about the current situation Monday.