can me and the kids be kicked out of our home

[piagenbea123]

hello, I need some legal advice, I hope somebody can help.

I have been with my DH for 24 years and have 3 young children (9,6,3). I discovered that my DH has been lying to me and going out (dating) after work with a woman from his work. At first he said that they were just close friends, he could'nt go out with me because we have 3 DC and no babysitters and also that I was over-reacting when I asked him to stop.
They have also been messaging each other everyday, which is how I found out that they were still going to restraunts and cinemas behind my back. He said that nothing had happened between them, he just liked the attention and that they had not even kissed. He also admitted that he has a problem, he delibrately befriends girls and tries to make them fall in love with him to boost his self esteem. But he won't have councelling

I gave him an ultimatum, divorce or he ends their relationship, he told her that the friendship was distroying his home and that he did'nt want to lose his family, but last night he mentioned that she messaged him some photos and asked how he was and he replied.
When I told him he need to cut her out of his life completely, he said that if I didn't trust him he would buy myself and kids a cheap house far from where we live and would have to manage by ourselves with no more help from him, he would not want joint access as he wishes he had never had kids, he wants his freedom back.
I don't work, I have been a stay-at-home mum for six years, I would like to work in early years but I would have to re-train and the pay is low, I don't know how I could support 3 children and pay all the bills. I also have an autistic child who gets lots of good support in the school she is at now, she would not cope well with being taken out of her enviroment away from her long established friends.
could we be kicked out of our home?
am I being unreasonable?

You need a solicitor.

You need to see a solicitor to discuss your options.

Sometimes there is a case for an order which would allow the resident parent to stay in the family home until the children are eighteen, however this is not guaranteed, and it is possible that you could be forced to agree to the sale of the house in order that you both move forward and he release his part of the equity.

As you’re a SAHM with a disabled child there may also be a case for spousal maintenance and it goes without saying that he would be liable for CM. But as I said you need to see a solicitor to discuss what options you could pursue and what the chances are.

I would also say at this stage that you should think carefully about whether the short term is best for the longer term iyswim. E.g. right now it seems like a positive thing to do to remain in the family home, however two or three years down the line you may not want to be tied financially to this man any more and won’t wanting to be counting down the days to when you know you’ll have to sell the house and move out.

Also, if you meet a new partner or he does then your feelings towards remaining in the marital home may change.

And lastly, while he is the one in the wrong, you both are entitled to move on, and he will find it impossible to e.g. buy a new house for himself if he is still tied into the mortgage on the family home. Ll

He is also a partner in a small company so they dont have official wage slips, he could make up how much he actually earns, I don't have access to his bank details. I think the house is in both our names if that makes a difference.

You need a solicitor ASAP.

Is the house in joint names?

You do work, you look after the house and the kids.

I don't know what the legalities are, and so check, but I would be tempted change the locks

Thanks, I just don't want to make too much change for the girls, as there dad leaving will be upsetting enough.

What you need is a solicitor. If you really can't work then you'd be entitled to tax credits or universal credit I would think but I can't see why you couldn't do a part time job, maybe with school hours.
He will have to pay support for his children if you go to the child support agency, they will make him submit accounts. I think it's a case of getting legal advise and toughening up a little I'm afraid

He is also a partner in a small company so they dont have official wage slips, he could make up how much he actually earns, I don't have access to his bank details

He can’t “make up” how much he earns. If he’s a partner in a ltd company it will all be documented, unless he and his partner are actively defrauding or false accounting.

If he is self employed with another person, yes he could be working cash in hand to avoid declaring. But again this means his partner is also complicit.

In either case if you suspect he’s fiddling his accounts report him to the HMRC.

thanks, I plan to return to work, I just be on a low wage

@sashh no changing the locks is illegal in the OP’s circumstances as this is the marital home and he has the same rights to access it as the OP does.

OP, whose name the house is in is irrelevant, it’s the marital home and therefore you are joint owners as per your marriage. You say that you’ve been married for 25 years? In which case the starting point for dividing the equity would be 50/50 however if you are the resident parent then you may have a case for more of the equity than that.

Do you know if there is equity in the property? What you also need to bear in mind is that depending on how much you take out of the marriage any entitlement to benefits will be affected.