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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Must I support STBex if he's not working?

2 replies

Betti · 08/10/2019 19:16

My DH and I are separated but still living in the same house. He got fired in May and has made no attempt to find work although he has, up to now, still been paying his share of the mortgage and bills. His money has now run out (unsurprisingly as he's spent the whole summer playing cricket and drinking). My question is, must I now support him (I'm the primary caregiver)? I work in a school so although I'm fulltime, my pay is low and I can't afford to support myself and 3 kids on my salary alone let alone him too. The mortgage is in both our names.

OP posts:
LemonTT · 08/10/2019 22:28

The mortgage will need to be paid by one or both of you. If he can’t pay then unless you make up the balance you will both go into arrears and default. It’s pretty much the same scenario for all household bills

But you don’t have to feed him or clothe him or give him spends. He can apply for benefits if he has no money. You can financially separate. His right to stay in the property may not change even if he isn’t contributing, there may be some argument that it strengthened because of his circumstances. But it doesn’t mean you can’t take legal action to secure an occupation order.

I expect he knows what he is doing and what it means.

Tiddleypops · 09/10/2019 07:39

I'm in a similar position OP. STBXH has not worked for 14 months. He paid a bit while he was still on sick pay then that stopped.
The huge misplaced sense of entitlement is immensely frustrating, but you just have to detach from the attitude and know that he will eventually not be your problem, and he'll have nothing.
You can separate all finances now if you haven't already done so, get joint accounts closed so he can't use overdrafts etc. You don't have to give him money for anything at all, just cover what you need to for you.

Mine sleeps in the master bedroom in a big comfy bed that I bought, and I sleep in my DS room in a tiny single bed with a cheap lumpy mattress. He'll not be so smug when he's got a cheap one bed flat to live in because it's all he can afford.

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