Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Separating, not married, 3 children, joint house, mortgage deeds

2 replies

welliesarefuntowear · 02/10/2019 05:59

My partner had been with OW since last year. I suspected but he wouldn't tell me anything. I found out he had opened a joint account with her around May time and he moved out to live with his mum. During that time he said we needed "time apart". However, what I didn't know was that he had set up home with her in another rental, house. He kept coming my place of work during that time and coming into the house. It's his house to and I didn't feel as though I could stop him and I didn't want to make things difficult for the children. They are 17 15 and 12. He kept coming back, crying and telling me that he wanted to come home. My feelings were that I still loved him.

The OW got in contact with me. She told me about the house and that they had been on holiday together. I found photos of them in a Dropbox account linked to his email that showed them kissing and holding hands and none sexual video. I felt utterly traumatised. During this time he kept saying he wanted me back. I didn't feel as if I could say no. I felt as though I should try. Stupid I know,

One day a few weeks ago I told him I couldn't do this any longer and I wanted to split. He grabbed my arm, threw me onto the sofa and said why won't you let me love you. He traumatised me and bruised my arm.

This weekend it became apparent he was messaging her again. He is still in contact with her. He left her in the house. The house is in his name on a rental agreement and he said she is leaving this weekend.

I can't take anymore. I've left and gone to live with my Dad. We have a daughter who is 17 and two sons 15 and 12. I bought the boys back here last night. My 15 year son wanted to go home so his Dad came to pick him up. My younger son is with me. My daughter is staying at her boyfriends tonight.

I can't go back. He will mess with my head. I have spoken to the police about this and they advised me to leave. Where do I go from here? I've arranged a mediation consultantation for Monday. If I now say I am living here with my Dad I should get legal aid. But how will this look for me leaving the home? I need to be there for my children and I feel like he's won.

OP posts:
Itsallchange · 02/10/2019 06:17

No advice but didn’t want to read and run. Sounds like you’ve had a really tough year, well done for remembering your worth you do not deserve to be treated like this. My advice would be go and a see a solicitor today most offer a first free half an hour and I got some really good advice in that appointment. Good luck xx

Bythebeach · 02/10/2019 06:20

Oh god, poor you. Can you go back to the house when he’s at work? Change the locks? I’m not sure where you’d stand legally but morally he’s physically abused you, cheated on you and practically he’s also rented somewhere else.
Find a solicitor today and get advice.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.