Mediation

[Cantsleep22]

Could I have people’s experiences of mediation please? I have a diary and screenshots of messages as well as photo evidence. Is this necessary for mediation or is this only applicable in court? Am I better being over prepared or will I look OTT taking all this along?

IME mediation was about arranging child care and a financial split. Is the evidence you have of abuse against you, abuse against the kids or of an affair?. If the former two it may be relevant if he is looking for custody as may shuttle mediation.

Mediation is about talking and coming to an agreement.

Evidence in the form of screenshots and diary notes sound like accusations

The MIAM mediation in my opinion is only useful if both parties are reasonable people. My ex was a Narcissistic and Emotional Abuser and not reasonable at all. The mediator gives no opinions on anything so it was totally useless to me. We finally got it sorted with Solicitor led shuttle mediation, where a solicitor in the middle does state their opinion and what a judge is likely to say in court, if it goes that far.

It's barely even applicable in court. The mediator is there to mediate, not to judge or give an opinion. You are there to come to an agreement over plans. They are unlikely to pay attention to any accusations unless the police or other agencies have been involved or there are genuine safeguarding issues.

Court arent interested in he said, she said either. They are only interested in sorting a plan for the children too.

Assuming no abuse.

Mediation is basically to help divide the marital pot without going to court to decide. It can also be about what you want for children.

Courts do not care about affairs etc.

Things to bring to mediation are a single page that lists the evidence you have.

By evidence I mean:

Bank statements
Valuations
Letters confirming dates of joint bank accounts
Credit card debt at seperation date
Emails confirming loans to family members
Pension valuations etc

Gather them all up and summarise it all into a single page.

When you create that single page, have it all listed in time order. From early to current date.

This will make it much easier to distinguish who owns what and what is marital and what is not.