Help... want to seperate

[Whattodonow1234]

Just a bit of background... have been together for 13 years, married for 8yrs. 2 kids . 4 and 6.

I cheated and no longer feel attracted to husband, we have not had a proper physical or emotional connection for years.

He talks down to me a lot and criticizes things i do. Over the years i have had enough and have found someone who treats me so well who i have an amazing connection with.

We own 50/50 share of house.

He says that if the kids stay with him he is automatically allowed to have 75% of the equity and then i would have to pay maintenance.

I want to do 50/50 parenting and have my 50% share of equity from the house but he says as there are 4 people (i.e. 2 kids and us 2) then it gets split 4 ways and since 3 will stay in the house then 3/4 of the equity must go to the person who they live with.

Is this correct? I have never heard of this... he didn't like it when i said i will take legal advice on this but am just curious before i start shelling out money on solicitors

It's bunkum. People come out with all sorts of rubbish and hope you are stupid enough. My ex started off saying he would just pass my share of the house to my son🤣🤣.

Starting point is 50/50 but equity distribution is based on need so possibly the lower earner may get more...

A decent solicitors will give you a half hour free consultation. Once you have found one use the time well, write down all your questions - I was told same as Otter71, as the lower earner i’d probably get 60% as i’d given up working full time to look after children and he was able to continue working full time and progressing with his career. I was also told that I could use his pension as a bargaining tool to get more of the house. Each situation is different - if you do see a solicitor make sure you take as much financial info with you to help them help you. Good luck!!

Thank you so much for you advice.. i have a feeling he is just saying that and hoping i am stupid.... he always has his way of talking down to me and thinks i am stupid.

I have always been the lower earner and did have to give up work and drop down to part time to look after the kids... only now that they are now both in school i am going back full time (more for the money so i can try and get out of my situation with him) but didnt know that they would potentially take that into account.

Have started trying to find a solicitor and will write down questions to ask them

Why will he stay in the house? What if you want to stay in the house? Even a solicitor won’t be able to give you an answer but definitely worth asking all the questions. Until you either come to an agreement between you or you both do a financial declaration you won’t have any idea of the settlement. However 50/50 is the starting point and if the assets are not pre marital and you plan 50/50 childcare I don’t see why you wouldn’t get a 50/50 asset split.