He doesn't agree with the grounds for divorce

[CQCnamechange]

So what do I do now? I've already watered them down. I've tried to agree them with him without going back and forth to a solicitor.
The original version was sent to him by my solicitor and he has not contacted or replied to her - just told me he doesn't agree.

@ CQCnamechange the value of a business is some combination of the value of the assets held in the company's name and the investment funds that would be required to generate the company profit from investing in the general market.

If your STBX's business is just him as a sole trader with no assets held in the company name except a laptop, and the full income of the company is used to pay him for his work, then the real value of the company is effectively not very much. If its a more physical business like a car repair workshop owning significant assets in property and equipment, and he has employees doing the actual work and takes all the profits as dividends then it could be worth loads. You need to get an independent assessment of the value - but be wise that this is a slippery and tricky area. Self employed business owners are well placed to squirrel away funds to ensure financial settlements are in their favour.

Thank you. I've just written a post and it's disappeared.
I appreciate your reply's.

Is it unreasonable of me to ask for form e to be filled in by him so I can speak to my solicitor before mediation?
Is it unusual to do it his way?

Just checking if anyone knows that's it's unreasonable to ask for form e before mediation x

And now I'm being criticised as I want the financial information to be sent to my solicitor so she can advise me before mediation. I don't understand his pension (he has bought property with it) or his accounts to take a view on how much his business is worth

The fog slowly clears... I suspect he's been stalling because he doesn't want to reveal his finances. It could be that he has far more funds than he's let on to you and he's been moving/hiding his assets.

You would be ill-advised to engage in mediation in respect of financial matters without having all of the facts and figures at your disposal. Your solicitor/yourself should be given sight of his Form E so that any questions can be asked before mediation begins

With regard to your petition, as others have said, he doesn't have to agree with the content and, if he doesn't sign and return it, you/your solicitor can apply to the court to deem it served and the divorce will proceed.

If you have any reason to believe he may have megabucks stashed away, employing the services of a forensic accountant could more than offset the cost.

Don't enter into any direct communication with him and let your solicitor deal with him in the appropriate manner. If he attempts to harangue or otherwise interrogate you simply go grey rock and tell him to instruct his own solicitor.

I just said I won't discuss anything to do with the divorce. It has to go through the lawyer. He would announce ridiculous things. This way it's his lawyer telling him he's being an idiot not you firefighting.

Thank you both xx he's making me think I'm loosing my mind.

I just need to know I'm being reasonable.

I had to google grey rock! Illl practice this at home. Living under the same roof is hell.

Put the 'watered down' version of your divorce petition he's harangued you into drafting in the bin, and don't fret over his threat to claim 50/50 residency of the dc.

As it's all about the money with him, ask your solicitor to write giving him 7 days to sign and return the documents that were sent to him on x date otherwise she will apply to the court to have them deemed served.

This will put a rocket up his bum and when you tell him that, because he is continuing to be his usual unreasonable self, you have no intention of making any alteration to the grounds you have cited for divorce he will hotfoot it to a solicitor who will appraise him of the eye-watering cost of contesting a divorce.

I suspect he will be something of a changed man after any such conversation, but he'll no doubt continue to bluff and bluster and tell you all sorts of untruths about what his solicitor has told him - let this pass through one of your ears and out the other, or come back to this thread to give us a laugh get it checked out.

Rest assured you're not losing your mind but we can make sure he loses his-.

OP it's not true that 50:50 always means no child maintenance so if that's his game it won't work so don't be scared by him saying this.

If 50:50 the higher earner is still likely to be liable for child maintenance. The amount due is based on the number of days per year spent with each parent and your respective incomes. You can get an idea by plugging your figures into the CMS calculator. Give it a try and you should be reassured.

Well he has now sent me a spread sheet with the current childcare / drop off arrangements and suggested we do 50/50 of the school runs etc. Clearly trying to 'prove' he can do this arrangement to strengthen his case for 50/50 childcare.

The atmosphere at home is toxic, my poor kids.

The first bill has come from my solicitor. How do other people go about paying them? I was going to get a separate credit card.

@CQCnamechange my solicitor gave me a fixed rate for the divorce and a ball park figure for the consent I paid a deposit for her to take the case and then agreed to pay monthly x

Thanks Itsallchange. I want to agree that my solicitor fees come from our joint account. Did you pay your own?

Yes @CQCnamechange he didn’t want to split and I wanted it done, so it was small price to pay. It’s a long winded process and my h is being co-operative! I started the process in April and at absolute stage but got to wait for financial and that has a delay of about 3 months!

We both want to split, so that's easy. That hard part is living under the same roof. He's so horrible and manipulative.

He is suddenly available to take the kids to school clearly to prove that he can to a judge. Pity he didn't pull his finger out years ago. I work full time and have done 90% of the childcare (oldest now 8).

@itsallverywell - you mentioned you made yourself the respondent. I'd be interested to hear how that worked out for you. I'm stuck in a situation where I've already watered down the original grounds for unreasonable behaviour but my wife won't agree to them. So I'm stuck in limbo at the moment.