Advice for a friend with emotionally-abusive husband

[concernedpal]

Heya,

I'm hoping someone here can give me advice to pass on to a female friend of mine who's having some issues with her soon-to-be-ex misogynist of a husband.

The couple are effectively separated but still living in the matrimonial home while they figure out the divorce, financial matters & custody of 4 kids, and the wife has remained in the main bedroom while the husband has taken the sofa and can barely bothered to go out to work or give her food money for the kids, while she has been looking after the kids AND upholding part time work.

However.. the wife has found that the husband has been sleeping in her bed while she's out for the night or away for the weekend. She's made it very clear to him that she considers this a "violation" and that she feels like her privacy is being trashed. His response (after denying it at first) is to smirk and state that he will "sleep wherever he wants to and there's nothing she can do about it".

Further to this, she has asked him to stop sleeping in a single bed with their 10yr old daughter but he is ignoring this and sleeping in the daughter's bed anyway when he isn't sleeping in my friend's bed.

Has anyone here ever been through anything similar and found a legal way of preventing the husband from sleeping in the wife's bed when she's out?

It's incredibly painful to see how upset it makes her and to see this misgynistic bellend flaunting in her face that he'll do what he likes and there's nothing she can do about it.

I'd be really grateful for your thoughts!

Thanks a lot,

Wtf no

I am not sure anything legal could prevent him from sleeping in her bed. Can she put a lock on her bedroom door?

I'd be more concerned about him sleeping with the daughter. I'd just give him the main bed and sleep elsewhere (which might keep him away from the daughter). Tell her to keep her mind in her life after separation and just hold on for now.
Having an angry misogynist man at home may be dangerous.

I get that he's EA but it's still his home and he needs a bed to sleep in. Your friend needs to see what can be moved around to make things easier. If DD10 has a small single room could Ex go in there and she stay with mum in double bed.

Your friend can also start CMS claim and benefits claim now. Sounds like she needs legal advice.

I can't imagine there's anything that she can do legally. A lock on the door might keep him out. Could she move into one of the kids rooms, maybe her DD? Mattress on the floor or extra single bed, bunks? Or move her DD into the her room and STBXH can have the single till everythings sorted. Maybe if he's got a room he'll be less of a bastard and give her and their DD some privacy.

He is going to do whatever he pleases, especially if he knows she is annoyed about it. She needs to be prepared for him to do that, or see if she can find somewhere else to live.
He should not be sharing a bed with his 10 year old daughter.

She should get some legal advice if she hasn't already - some solicitors offer a free 30min consultation.