Ex still living in house and won't buy me out

[Pilodowan]

I'm hoping someone can advise please. I separated from my ex last year although we continued to live together for a few months "for the kids sake". That didn't work out so I left in January and am now living in private rented.

We were not married but had bought a house together, both names on the mortgage in 2005 and with overpaying the mortgage is almost paid of so I have equity in the house.

He wanted to stay in the house, I didn't so we agreed that he would stay there and buy me out of my share of the equity. This is all just verbal agreements. Thing is, he is living there and 9 months down the line, he still hasn't done a single thing about buying me out. I mention it to him and he just says he's stressed out with work or other stuff and we get nowhere. Meanwhile I have paid 9 months of rent into a black hole.

We share custody of the kids 50:50 which works out fine but means I don't want to force the sale of the house because it's the childrens' home too. I just want what I am owed so I can start again.

Things have been fairly amicable up until now but I feel like this has now been to my disadvantage as he has prioritised everything else in his life over sorting out my problem (which is indicative of why we separated). I don't know what my next steps are. How do I make him buy me out when he's basically ignoring my requests to do so? He can afford the extra mortgage so money isn't an issue for him, I just don't think he is taking me seriously.

Thanks for reading.

Legal advice required.

No he won’t be taking you seriously added to which he is saving money.

I would write to him and ask him to move forward immediately setting a date for completing the buy out. Confirm that in the meantime you will be asking a solicitor to apply to the courts for an order to force the sale of the house and that he pays costs. Advise him that any legal action will be stopped if he arranges the buy out but otherwise it will be proceeding.

Let that sit with him for a while and in the meantime get a solicitor to write to him setting out the intention to apply to the courts for the order.

In other words put the wind up him and back it up with a bit of legal muscle. See if that works. If it does, great. If it doesn’t then your only recourse is legal action.

The only legal route is to apply for an order to force the sale of the house. It sounds as if you have already exhausted trying to amicably reason with him. Some solicitors offer free initial consultations, it is worth getting legal advice for your specific circumstances. You may find that a letter from a solicitor asking that he confirm when he will buy you out with the threat of legal action if he is unable to do so by X may be enough for him to progress matters.

Thanks everyone. I have got an appointment to see a solicitor this afternoon. I really don't want to do this as other than this issue, I am getting on reasonably well with my ex and it just feels like legal action will massively rock the boat. I don't know what else I can do though.

He’s banking on you being scared to rock the boat. If it’s only amicable when he gets his own way and you let him then it’s not amicable. He’s taking the piss. You’ve split up, he’s not your friend.

You are likely to have to try mediation first so you could investigate local mediators.

Invite him to attend via email and if he fails to follow up then you will be able to start court action.

I would try the softer route first as legal costs mount up very quickly.

You need to do a consent order signed off by a judge.

Are you sure you are getting a gmfaur share of assets?

My consent order says I have to sort my mortgage to buy ex out within 6 months of the date of the order.