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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Advice needed on court/mediation/child contact arrangement.

3 replies

Youngmumma21 · 30/08/2019 18:03

Hello... need some help! My ex partner and I separated in May this year we initially had an arrangement for him seeing our daughter which I set up, this fell through and needed to be changed as I found out he was using drugs (cocaine & weed). I then suggested we do mediation (he didn’t want to after initially agreeing) so we then came to another arrangement without mediation where he was being drug tested and having contact while I was there as well as another adult present (taking her to the park etc...) things again didn’t work out because I found out he was faking the drug tests (asking people to pee in the cup for him) as he was still using these drugs. Following this I explained to him that I no longer wanted to be involved in the contact arrangement (as he was seeing her at my house) and suggested we try mediation. He refused then started to swear and get confrontational (through text) so I spoke to the citizens advice and they suggested going through a contact centre but if this didn’t work we would have to go to court.

I’m still quite young and am a bit worried about what the “court process” will entail? Won’t they just suggest mediation as we would qualify for that as there’s been not domestic violence or anything and I am very willing to talk to him and sort out the contact? Also if it does go to court what type of evidence/proof with I need regarding his drug use? As I’m really not comfortable with him having her by himself or over night as he doesn’t actually have anywhere to live? Any advice or previous experience for this would be a great help!

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 30/08/2019 18:19

Does he have any convictions of any kind?

endofthelinefinally · 30/08/2019 18:22

This is a serious safeguarding issue and I think you should explain to social services thst you left him in order to protect your child.
Do you have evidence of his drug use?

Youngmumma21 · 31/08/2019 13:17

He has a “criminal damage” conviction and got an “unconditional discharge” as he pled guilty (he punched a hole in his dads wall and was being very aggressive, possibly under the influence of drugs) but the reason he was charged was being it was in front of his sister and at the time she was a minor? This was a few years ago.

And I didn’t leave him due to drugs as I was unaware of his drug use until after I left him. But when I initially found out I have messages from him to another person organising a drug deal, he is also doing a rehab program which I guess could be kinda proof? as why would you go to rehab unless you have a issue? But since I got the new information about his drug use all I have is a statement from the person witnessing him do it? No concrete proof:/ but he is avoiding doing the drug test and has become very aggressive (swearing a lot through text) as he’s refused the contact centre then told me he was to busy to talk about it?:/

OP posts:
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