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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Separating with 2 young children - financial concerns

23 replies

Female123 · 24/08/2019 09:21

Desperate for some help/advice please! My husband and I relationship is over and we have agreed to separate. We have 2 children, 3 year old and 11 month old. Here's where it gets complicated and I'm not sure where I stand...I work for his company and he pays me a salary. As a result of us agreeing to separate, he's saying I can no longer draw a wage, have to give my car back and he is going to sell the house. I'm really concerned how I will cope financially. I know he can't sell the house as it's joint mortgage, but where do I stand in terms of the salary I would usually draw from the company as if this turns ugly I am going to need to cover the mortgage, nursery fees and bills etc on my own! Before children I had a fantastic job which I wish I never left as have relied on him too much financially Confused.

OP posts:
GinisLife · 24/08/2019 09:23

Are you a director and shareholder ? Or an employee ?

NotBeingRobbed · 24/08/2019 09:28

For a start get an employment lawyer. It’s unfair dismissal. He can’t just sack you for separating from you.

Original poster
Female123 · 24/08/2019 09:55

An employee, on the books for several years

OP posts:
Original poster
Female123 · 24/08/2019 10:03

The thing is, I "work" for his company. I'm on the books but dont actually do full time work. I do ad hoc work. But I am on the books, so not sure how that works in the eyes of a court? Or is it irrelevant, as ultimately he's paying me regardless of the hours or type of work? I guess you could say he's been paying me through the company to do a bit of work but mainly run the house etc?

OP posts:
AMAM8916 · 24/08/2019 10:29

Were you actually working for the company or was he declaring you as an employee in order to get another wage coming into your house?

Original poster
Female123 · 24/08/2019 10:52

A bit of both. I do do work for the company, go into the office and work remotely, but the wage is a full time wage when I dont do full time hours for the company.

OP posts:
Original poster
Female123 · 24/08/2019 10:53

I was working full time and then had kids and do the work when they are sleeping and at nursery/when I can but continued to take the same wage.

OP posts:
aweedropofsancerre · 24/08/2019 10:57

So you both have been fiddling the books to suggest you work full time for his company and getting a wage , when it isn’t true. You need to speak to a solicitor who will advise you on the way forward. I am not sure why you would be left paying for childcare etc due to separating? Sounds like things are going to get nasty so go and get legal advice

blackcat86 · 24/08/2019 11:14

Find another job. He isn't going to keep paying you a wage if you're a) cooking the books and not actually working that much anyway, b)separating, c) he finds someone else which he inevitably will in time. Get yourself back out there particularly if you had a good career pre-children. You're very vulnerable to his whims in the current situation

pikapikachu · 24/08/2019 11:35

I would consult a solicitor. Personally I'd be expecting some sort of redundancy payment until I got another job but no idea how the law works.

Lovemenorca · 24/08/2019 11:44

No contract. Just doing ad hoc.
No point getting employment lawyer

What you need is a kick ass lawyer

Get yourself off mumsnet and start researching

FanSpamTastic · 24/08/2019 12:12

He had been doing this to use your tax free allowance and basic rate band of taxation. It is basically tax fraud. Feel free to report him to the Tax Office. Or suggest that maybe he negotiates a proper financial settlement and provides a home for his children to live in and maintenance to support them.

SlightlyMisplacedSingleDad · 24/08/2019 15:20

Sorry, are you looking for sympathy that your tax evasion scam is coming to an end?

Original poster
Female123 · 24/08/2019 16:09

Explain exactly how that's tax evasion? I work and get paid for it. Isn't that what normal people do?!

OP posts:
aweedropofsancerre · 24/08/2019 19:33

[I guess you could say he's been paying me through the company to do a bit of work but mainly run the house etc]

There you go Op

aweedropofsancerre · 24/08/2019 19:35

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

aweedropofsancerre · 24/08/2019 19:36

Anyway as you are splitting I wouldn’t worry about that. You can use that to your advantage and I have no doubt your STBExH will panic once this can of worms is opened. Go and see a lawyer

LadyGlitterSparkles · 24/08/2019 19:42

If you have been paid via PAYE you have the exact same rights as any employee. He cannot sack you because you are no longer together. If the car is a company car you may be able to argue that too.

Speak to acas regarding your job, and get a shit hot lawyer too!

OneKeyAtATime · 24/08/2019 19:49

What does your contract say?

stucknoue · 24/08/2019 20:00

So it doesn't matter what work you do, as long as you have s p60 and are paye for taxes you are an employee therefore he will need to make you formally redundant (a weeks pay plus a week for every week you have been there in addition to your standard notice which will be one month unless you have a contract stating otherwise eg if you have worked for 5 years you would receive 6 weeks tax free redundancy plus a month in lieu of notice (assuming he doesn't want you to work the notice). If you are being paid as a contractor (self employed) unfortunately you have a lot less rights so hopefully that is not the case. I suggest looking on one of the benefit calculators and then register for benefits now if his is saying your employment is terminated. You may need to reduce the older child to 15 hours and pull the younger from nursery for now until you can find another job. If you rent somewhere your rent will be part of uc (mortgage isn't claimable, it's just a loan)

Original poster
Female123 · 24/08/2019 22:20

Thank you. That makes sense Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Female123 · 24/08/2019 22:22

Thank you Smile

OP posts:
AMAM8916 · 25/08/2019 20:59

So you were actually doing work there, just not the full time you used to do before the children but you've been doing part time for the same wage? It doesn't really matter what you were getting paid, as long as you actually did work and were paid through the tax and NI system.

I would through him a little warning that you are actually a paid employee and have been for X amount of years and you have rights. Ask if he wants to go into all of that and explain to a court why he was paying his wife a full time wage to work ad hoc here and there hours!

I would assume he doesn't want it all to get messy so tell him you want a settlement as any employee would get. Currently, it's a weeks pay for every year you have worked there as well as a notice period (a month if nothing was specified). So if you've been on the books for say 6 years, he needs to pay you off with 10 weeks pay (6 weeks redundancy and a 4 week/months notice) as well as any unused holidays

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