Anyone got back with an ex?

[MrBrightside1980]

Just that really.

Has anyone separated from their husband/wife and ended up back together?
If so, what's the longest time you spent 'separated' before you got back together.

Still love my ex wife (not divorced yet), separation was my fault. Almost a year apart and would desperately want to get back together. I know there isn't any hope. Just having a real shit time dealing with that

Did you have an affair? I think you commented as much on another post

@AMAM8916 Regrettably yes, that's what happened.

You said you know there's no hope so I think instead of hanging onto any part of thinking you might get back together, the best route to take would be to accept that it's properly over and hope to be someone that she likes and respects again one day.

No it isn't what you would ideally like, but wouldn't it be nice to one day have moved on and she respects you again as a parent to your children (if you have any) and someone that she doesn't dislike?

I'm not sure what the situation is right now but instead of aiming for reuniting, aim for her respect and forgiveness. This is probably actually beating you down more than anything else, that she thinks bad of you.

I've read many posts from women saying their ex husbands cheated on them but now they are on good terms and it's all fine but not together. This is the best situation to have out of all this. Her free from being bitter (it's horrible to feel bitter) and you free from guilt.

You need to understand that she doesn't want a life of wondering what you're up to and watching her back. It's no way to live. If one day she can say 'I forgive you and don't feel angry at you anymore', that will be a good day. Work towards that

@AMAM8916 You are completely right, I know you are. Others have told me the same thing, and I know it would not be fair on her to live a life like that, I honestly wouldn't want her to. It's just so hard when you miss every single thing about the person, and the family life we had, and the hate for myself that I feel for destroying that. It's horrible. I thought after a year it would ease but it hasn't. I know I caused it, I know I had a choice and i know this is what I get for those actions. It's just really hard, still loving her so much and knowing we are never going to be together again. Today she has taken our children on a day trip to a place that we all used to go to together and have very fond memories. This is the first time that it is not all of us. And the scary part is, that this is now how the reality will be from now on.